The Chocolate Lovers Series by Tara Sivec

In case I haven’t mentioned it enough, I LOVED LOVED LOVED this series. I have never laughed so hard at any book before, and I have read quite a few by famous comedians. Why did I love it so much? Besides the raunchy 12 year old boy humor (totally up my alley) and the hysterical potty mouthed little boy, I totally want to stalk the shit out of all the imaginary characters and be their best friend. (OK, maybe I just want to stalk Tara too.)

WARNING: Do not read these books in public, unless you want people to see you shaking with laughter, snorting, spitting coffee out your nose, and having all kinds of ‘things’ come out of all of your orifices (or is it orifie?). Read my review of Seduction and Snacks, and you’ll understand…..

Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers #1)

Warning #1: This book is not to be taken seriously. Do not read this if you don’t have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy. Do not read this if you ARE a fifteen year old boy. This book is totally crude and inappropriate and uses the word “vagina” a lot. No, I mean A LOT. If you don’t think people who are drunk are hilarious, you shouldn’t read this book. You probably shouldn’t read this book if you aren’t drunk yourself. You should probably just put this book down and get drunk. You may think that no one in the world talks like the people in this book, but they do. They are called “people who are funny and inappropriate”. This book is completely unrealistic; the author is aware of that fact and did it on purpose.

2012 Goodreads Choice Award Nominee – Best Romance

Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he’s asleep) toddler a better life.

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.

With Carter’s undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire’s panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

Warning #2: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

See My Review Here

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Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2)

Carter, Claire and Gavin have formed the perfect little family. Their friends are getting married and everyone is growing up, maturing and ready to face the future. Or are they?

From bachelorette party hell, porn addictions, dinner roll baseball and botched wedding proposals to finding out everyone’s extended family is chock full of crazy, Carter and Claire begin to question the strength of the ties that bind them. Unfortunately, these ties have nothing to do with fuzzy handcuffs and everything to do with the mounting differences between them.

Will their friends make a mess of things with their inappropriate comments and need to know everything, or will they convince the couple that happily-ever-after sometimes really can start with beer pong?

WARNING: CONTAINS SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL. Wait, no. Just sex and drugs. And boose and filthy language. Do not read if you have no sense of humor.

See My Review Here

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Troubles and Treats (Chocolate Lovers #3)

Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack, and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives.

In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?

See My Review Here

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Hearts and Llamas (Chocolate Lovers Valentine’s short)

Short story.

Join the Chocolate Lovers gang as they celebrate Valentine’s Day in their usual fashion – with hair pulling, cage fighting and farm animals!

See My Review Here

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Get all of these books together in ONE HUGE BOOK!.

Chocolate Lovers: Sweet Stories About Love, Friendship, and Inappropriate Behavior

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The kid’s spin-off, The Chocoholics Series:

Love and Lists (Chocoholics)

Love and Lists is the first book in the Chocolate Lovers spinoff – Chocoholics: The foul-mouthed offspring tell their stories.

Twenty-five-year-old Gavin Ellis has always had the love and support of his family ever since he was a little boy and couldn’t stop talking about his penis. He’s also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he’s an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven’t changed very much from when he was younger.

When Gavin’s best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.

After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.

Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn’t always the best idea.

See my review

Amazon | Audible

Passion and Ponies (Chocoholics #2)

Ava Gilmore has the perfect life. She’s surrounded by people who love her, she’s having sex on a regular basis and her Coach bag collection just grew by three. The problem? She’s expected to follow in her family’s footsteps at Seduction and Snacks, working with sex toys and baked goods.

Ava loves vibrators and cupcakes as much as the next person, she’d just rather play with them than sell them. With her shopping addiction reaching an all time high and her credit card bills piling up, Ava decides to put her obsession to good use and start a fashion blog. But she has one other problem – the guy she’s having sex with has a My Little Pony addiction.

While dealing with her family’s disappointment and confusion over her choices, she finds support in the unlikeliest of places – Tyler Branson. Tyler has slowly wormed his way into her bed and her heart and he refuses to leave. Tyler has his own family problems to deal with and for the first time ever, Ava finds herself feeling bad for the annoying, immature guy and chanting “Friendship is magic!” during the sex she’d swore to stop having with him.

Ava needs to get her life in order once and for all before she finds herself doing something she never wanted to do – fall in love with a Brony.

See my Review

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Tattoos and TaTas (Chocoholics 2.5)

During the month of October, 100% of the proceeds from Tattoos and Tatas will be donated to breast cancer awareness.

Claire and Liz have always had a friendship that defied the test of time, but when one of them is diagnosed with a disease that every woman fears, their bond is put through the wringer. How do you cope knowing your soul mate could be taken from you?

Filled with memories of their life long friendship, inappropriate behavior, bad tattoos and shaving cats, the two friends will realize that laughter really is the best medicine.

Tattoos and TaTas is not your typical love story; it’s a story of friendship and learning how to let go when something is beyond your control.

May be my favorite book ever! See my review, and my audiobook review.

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Baking and Babies (Chocoholics #3)

“I’m pregnant.”

Molly Gilmore had a good life before she uttered those two stupid words. While preparing to graduate from culinary school and building up the courage to make a move on her hot, sugar-cookie-smelling pastry instructor Marco, she can’t wait to finally have the GREAT life she’s always dreamed about, instead of just the good one she’s been living.

Always known as the quiet ninja, she fully intends to stay hidden in the shadows with her nut-job family, so they have no chance to embarrass her around the man she’s crushed on for two years. Unfortunately, her family has other plans. When they yank her straight out of her comfort zone, she finds herself starring in the craziest train wreck she’s ever witnessed.

Molly ultimately gets a more exciting life that doesn’t revolve around school, but she’s pretty sure the man of her dreams won’t be sticking around long after her family gets ahold of him. There aren’t too many guys who can handle smelling like pee, having the whole world know how he masturbates, and being forced to eat an entire bag of dicks.

Join the Chocolate Lovers and Chocoholics gang for one final story about love, baked goods, making poor life choices, and remembering how important family is—even if they drive you insane.

Mostly because it’s illegal to kill them.

See my review

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