Welcome to today’s stop on the Love and Lists blog tour, sponsored by Madison Says.
Click the banner below for the tour schedule.
If you have been following my blog you know how much I love The Chocolate Lover’s Series by Tara Sivec. If you’ve read my reviews, you know of the scary things that happen to my body while I read her books. You know how Tara’s been sneaking into my home and secretly getting material, even before I
stalked her and made her got friendly with her. She also schedules her book releases to my vaginal episodes. More on that in a bit…(or read my review of Seduction and Snacks to start).
Just for a little background, you may want to check out these hysterical recaps of Wicked Book Weekend ’13 (most importantly the last two).
- Spiderman, Dirty Chocolate and Swag: Wicked Girls Book Weekend Day 1
- Chaos, Screaming and Signing: Wicked Girls Book Weekend 2013 Day 2
- Jell-O, Sex Toys, Vagibeer and Squirting: Wicked Girls Book Weekend 2103 Party Bus and Beyond
- Screaming Goats, Altered Ass, and Spooge in a Pot: Wicked Girls Book Weekend 2013-Sunday
You should also know that I messaged Tara after I read the chapter names and already started laughing. The first photo is an Always Maxipad.
Love and Lists is a spin-off of The Chocolate Lovers Series. But now, 4 year old Gavin is all grown up. Love and Lists can be read as a standalone, but don’t. Just trust me on this….read The Chocolate Lovers Series first. If it’s been a while, there is no need to brush up, Tara gently and hysterically reminds you of things throughout Love and Lists. The first half of the book is presented as if Gavin is telling us his story.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m curious if someone can die from blue balls. You’re probably also wondering how in the hell I can possible be twenty-five years old when just yesterday I was four.”
Gavin is in charge of product development at Seduction and Snacks, which has gone global, and he is completely in love with Charlotte, Liz and Jim’s daughter. The problem? They grew up together, and he’s been friend-zoned. He asks his best friend Tyler for help. Tyler is ‘Mini Drew’ to me, I swear he is Drew’s illegitimate child who has the hots for Claire. But I digress. Tyler helps Gavin come up with a list of how to make Charlotte fall in love with Gavin (or bang him).
“My main purpose in life isn’t to get in Charlotte’s pants. Sure, it’s something I dream about. Well, wet dream about. …but it’s not the ultimate goal. I want her to love me. I want her to see me as something other than a friend. I want her to realize that we’re soul mates.
Fuck, maybe I am getting my period.”
Neither Gavin or Charlotte have a lot of experience, so as Gavin worked his way down the list, it was one hilarious failure after another one. I felt so sorry for him, yet fell more in love with him every moment.
“You used to stand up in the middle of the tub and say. ‘Hey, Charlotte, look at my big wiener!’ I hope that’s not what your next plan of attack is,” Mom says with a serious look on her face. Note to self: remove number five from The List.”
The biggest issue is that Charlotte has a boyfriend, Rocco.
“Honey, he doesn’t have a feminine side, he has a vagina.”
And Gavin…well, he really hasn’t quite gotten over his obsession with his penis.
“I glance at Tyler standing next to me and notice he’s wearing corduroys. Those would feel really good right now if I rubbed my penis against them. All soft and rough at the same time.”
The whole gang offers Gavin advice, including Drew and Jenny…because they are actually qualified hahaha. And Gavin learns even more about his parents that he wishes he could unhear, including some stories about ‘phone calls’.
For me though, Tyler was a show stealer! From his Bronie status to Siri, he is everything I love in a guy 😉 Siri cracked me up…why? My kid’s named me “You Lick My Nipples” on my phone over a year ago, and I never changed it. And my son’s phone?
Halfway through the book we switch to Charlotte’s point of view. As much as I love Gavin, I love Charlotte just as much! It was perfect the way Tara split it and a great way of telling the story. Charlotte was even more inexperienced than Gavin.
Oh fuck, I’m touching his penis. My hand is on his penis. I was so excited I didn’t even realize how hard I was squeezing his penis. And thinking about it just makes me squeeze it even harder.
So basically, I was choking the life out of this thing and trying to detach it from his body. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!
Between mustard, hairy wildebeests, spiderman, and Children of the Corn (which I had a gif for but it scared me), Charlotte was as much of a mess as Gavin. They were perfect for each other.
Since Tara loves to do her “things I learned” posts, I thought I’d steal her idea.
- I didn’t think Tara could pull it off again, but this was just as funny as the rest, maybe even the funniest.
- Tyler. I Freaking loved him.
- The funny references to ‘the past’.
- The names of some products at Seduction and Snacks.
- Ava, Charlotte’s sister (I hope she gets a book!)
- The style of the storytelling…the way it’s obvious they are writing to an audience.
- Revisiting the whole gang when they are now my age.
- Bronies, Siri, Goats, Spiderman and moist folds.
- It was sweet, funny, sexy and ridiculous all at the same time.
- Love and Lists was surprisingly REAL, including banging heads, and all the mishaps that usually happen.
- Tyler’s crush on Claire and her reactions.
- The hospital visit.
- I wish it were a little longer. I read it in a few hours.
Rating: 5+++++++ Stars 2.5 Heat (The sex is more funny than horny inducing)
Yes, Tara and I are now friends, but I have never let that affect my ratings of a book (as you’ll see in an upcoming review for another author). But I must admit, now that I know her and I’m reading this book for the first time…Gavin is Tara. It used to be that Tara was Claire because I “met” Claire first. But Gavin is totally the male Tara. Which, if you read yesterday’s post, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Love and Lists was everything I could have wished for in a spin off. It was hysterically funny, sweet, silly, real and brought back the entire crazy cast of the original series and then some. I woke my husband from laughing, I had to take screen shots and send them to my him and my son (who wants a credit in this book by the way), and I re-read the whole thing while preparing this review because I loved it that much.
Purchase Love and Lists by Tara Sivec (Chocoholics)
Connect with the twatwaffle:
Meet Tara at Wicked Book Weekend ’14: Ft. Lauderdale (Tara does Spring Break!)
Interview with Gavin and Charlotte
When did you first know you were in love?
Gavin: The first time she punched me in the junk.
Charlotte: Awwww! You were such a little jerk when we were young. Can I punch you in the junk now just for old time’s sake?
Gavin: Not if you want that junk to continue working.
You’re both adults and made it through college without having any sex. Did everyone think you were gay?
Gavin: I think the amount of straight porn I watched made up for that fact. I have a gold membership to youporn.com
Charlotte: Seriously? A gold membership?
Gavin: What? It came with a card. A gold card. It’s in my wallet. It sparkles when the light hits it.
Charlotte: Are you sure you’re not gay?
Gavin: Have you already forgotten about last night? I counted the number of times you screamed “OH MY GOD! OH GAVIN! YES YES YES!” It was seven times, by the way. Seven.
Has anyone considered that Tyler might be Drew’s son from one drunken night?
Charlotte: Oh my God. You’re right. Tyler could totally be Uncle Drew’s son. They share a brain.
Gavin: It could be a possibility if Uncle Drew and Aunt Jenny ever stopped having sex with each other for one second.
You’ve obviously each been whacking off to fantasies of each other for a good 10 years. What are each of your number one fantasies?
Charlotte: When I used to help out my mom at her store during my summer breaks from college, I used to always imagine Gavin walking in with a UPS delivery. I’d thank him for bringing me the package and then take all of my clothes off. I’d put the “Closed” sign on the door and he’d open up the box and use every single toy on me in the back room.
Gavin: Sorry. I’m going to need a minute. Holy fuck. Seriously? You’re telling me this NOW? All those times I actually DID bring in one of Aunt Liz’s deliveries and you were thinking about ripping your clothes off? I think my brain just exploded.
Name 3 words to describe each other.
Charlotte: Hot, sweet, funny.
Gavin: Sexy, beautiful, gives good head.
Charlotte: Seriously, Gavin?
Gavin: What? It’s the truth. Fine. Sexy, beautiful and gives AMAZING head.
Invent a drink/shot (and a name) to describe each other.
Charlotte: The Numb Vagina. As soon as you drink it, you lose all feeling in your nether region.
Gavin: That’s not funny.
Charlotte: You’re right. It wasn’t funny AT ALL when it happened to me.
What is the best place you guys have had sex?
Gavin: Everywhere. I’d still like to take a blanket out to the field next to where Charlotte got that flat tire, but she won’t go for it.
Charlotte: Are you insane?! There are people lying in wait in that field, wanting to kill us. That is NEVER going to happen.
What is your favorite toy from Seduction and Snacks? (Please don’t say the Claire)
Gavin: Seriously? I just threw up in my mouth.
Charlotte: Actually, I kind of like The Claire. It comes in a make-up case so you can camouflage it.
Gavin: Do NOT tell me you used my mom’s sex toy.
Charlotte: You make it sound gross. Like I used a toy your mom used.
Gavin: I’m never going to be able to have sex again with that visual. Thanks a lot.
Have you guys ever used the Claire or Liz together?
Gavin: STOP! Oh my God, stop. I’m discontinuing those as soon as I get back to work. And then I’m going to stab myself repeatedly in the eye with a pen.
And what is the Jenny? Are there Skittles in it?
Charlotte: The Jenny is weird. I’m kind of afraid of the people who buy it.
Gavin: It’s a hand. Like, a fist, but not a fist. It’s kind of like a high-five. And there are Skittles on the tip of each finger. It’s disturbing.
Charlotte-What do you think is Gavin’s favorite thing about you? Gavin? What do you think is Charlotte’s favorite thing about you?
Charlotte: Obviously my blow job skills.
Gavin: You know I was just kidding. Although they ARE pretty stellar. I’m going to guess your favorite thing about me is my knowledge of all things sex toys.
Charlotte: He’s actually right. I’ve never met a man who carries his own sex toy arsenal everywhere he goes. It comes in pretty handy at restaurants.
Gavin: Too bad we’re never allowed at the Cheesecake Factory again after you ripped off the tablecloth and broke all the glasses.
Charlotte: It’s your fault for putting that remote-control vibrator in my underwear.
Name one random fact confession:
Charlotte: I once masturbated two feet away from Gavin when he was sleeping.
Gavin: WHAT? When? And why didn’t you wake me up?
Charlotte: It was in college and I didn’t think you liked me. You went to a party with me and passed out on the floor of my dorm. I may or may not have seen your penis that night when you changed your clothes. I got a little turned on.
Gavin: We’re going to your old dorm room NOW and reenacting this.
Charlotte: I don’t think the current residents would appreciate that very much.
Gavin: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!
Question for Tara:
What is next in the Chocoholics series?
I’m toying around with the idea of Drew and Jenny doing a sex help book. Also, Ava and Tyler will be getting their own book.
Please Scroll for 2 New Giveaways. One from the tour, and one from me!
The Tour Giveaway: 2 winners will receive ebook copies of Love & Lists. 2 winners will receive signed paperback copies of Love & Lists. And the grand prize winner will receive a signed paperback copy of Love & Lists along with an L&L tote bag filled with fun swag! (Open everywhere).
My Giveaway: An e-book of any of Tara’s Books