The Firework Exploded (The Holidays 3) by Tara Sivec
Romantic Comedy. Does not stand alone.
I was mourning the end of my beloved series, The Chocolate Lovers & Chocoholics Series by Tara Sivec. I thought there was no way I would ever laugh a tampon out of my vag or a Dorito out of my nose again. Then The Holidays Series started, and yeah, it happened again. Weirdly enough, Tara releases books with my cycle, because I swear, I have had this issue too many times. But luckily, I was wearing a pad, because I laughed so hard I totally tinkled. More than once.
This review is so hard! I have like 75 different highlights, and I want to share a few, but I don’t want to give anything away.
The Firework Exploded is the 3rd in the Holidays family series by Tara Sivec, and you really need to start at the beginning and get to know the crazy Holiday family and friends. The Firework Exploded is obviously centered around the 4th of July, which is also the weekend Sam and Noel decide to get married. The story begins with the wedding, then goes back a month.
Sam is having a little problem ‘sealing the deal’. The story begins with Sam and Noel doing the nasty, and like every guy should, he made sure she was satisfied first. Then he kept going, and going, and going…. I was literally craphing (cry laughing) during this scene because I have been there. A lot. And, not to get too TMI-ish, but Mr. Ana is not a small guy, and I have felt this “when each thrust feels like it’s going to start a small forest fire because all the wetness from my orgasm has long since fled the coop.” And I totally start calculating how many hours I can sleep if it ends soon, just like Noel. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mr. Ana, and he is amazing in bed. But he is never quick, and ever the gentleman, I’m always first to the finish line. So I was totally relating, and you know how when you can relate it’s even funnier.
The problem was, Sam wasn’t able to seal the deal at all. So of course, Noel thought it was her, and started getting easily riled up (well not that easily, if you have toilet seat wars at home, you’ll get this), and instead of discussing the problem (also known as ‘Mister Ed’), she took it out on him in other ways.
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A TOILET SEAT COVER-PEEING STUPID PEEING HEADED PEE’ER!”…”NO SHEET FOR YOU PISSY MCPISSERSON FROM THE CITY OF PISSVILLE IN THE STATE OF TOILET SEAT COVER PISS!”
Besides that, Noel finds some medication she didn’t know Sam was taking and she thinks it is her and her family’s fault. They caused him to need meds! So she works hard to keep Sam as calm as possible during the wedding planning. But with Noel’s frightening dairy-obsessed father, transgender Aunt Bobbie, a Zombie cat, elbow fisting, butter, a scary relative, and crazy Scheva and Alex, staying calm is not an option.
“Everything sucks, nothing is good, blah, blah blah…fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck off.”
Speaking of Scheva and Alex, I FUCKING LOVE THEM. They are the Holiday’s Jenny & Drew, and I loved Scheva and Noel’s friendship.
“Did we just have a moment, Fuck knuckle?” I ask with a laugh.
“Pretty sure we did, Dick Cheese. Can we stop now? All of these feelings and shit are starting to give me hives.”
Scheva’s drunk texts! OMG!
“I want to butter your penis like a slice of toast….We’re gonna burn this mother’ fuckin’ house to the ground…Do you like Amish people? Circle yes or no…You can watch me pee and we’ll talk, we’ll call it Tinkle Talk.”
When Noel and Sam decide to not have sex until after the wedding so Noel’s dad doesn’t cut off his dick and beat him with the bloody stump, things get even crazier.
“Dial that phone, bitch, DIAL IT!”
And honestly, that’s just the beginning. The Holidays are like a dirty National Lampoon movie, but even funnier.
- Nobody else can make me laugh out loud and still LOVE her characters like Tara Sivec.
- Scheva is one of my favorite book characters ever.
- As over-the-top the book is, it never goes too far, or ever seems to try too hard.
- Turd Ferguson and Fat Ralph 🙂
- Behind all the zany antics is a lot of sweet.
- That they are all real (crazy) people, not billionaires, rock stars, bodyguards, MMA fighters, or stepbrothers.
- As crazy as they are, this family truly loves each other.
- The poem about Scheva lol.
- The acknowledgements #PDS (sorry for an inside joke).
- The mention of lots of authors we know and love.
- The tie-in with Seduction & Snacks.
- RICE KRISPIE TREATS!
- Tara needs to write a crappy book so people won’t think I’m just a fan girl who always gives her 5 stars. But I can’t help it, I loved the crap out of The Firework Exploded.
The Down & Dirty:
Rating: 5 Stars, 4 Heat