Book Review – A is For Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis

I FUCKING LOVED A is for Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis. L-O-V-E-D!!!! Buy it, right now. Here is the AMAZON LINK. I’ll wait….

 

Are you back? Did you buy it? Ok, maybe you need more convincing. If you are a Kristen Ashley fan, you will go nuts for this book, but you don’t have to have read her to love it. I rarely put the printed book blurb in my reviews, I prefer to rewrite it, but in this case, I’m going to.

I’m Haley Whitfield, and I recently had the ingenious idea to enlist my mother, Allison, as my kick*ss sidekick and set out on a road trip.

This road trip wasn’t to be just any road trip, but a very special one indeed. An adventure with an acutely specific purpose– to find our other halves. The peanut butter to our jelly. The i to our Phone. The stripper to our pole.

If our romantic desires were a personal ad, they would read something like this.

** Two sassy women (Ages twenty-seven and forty-nine respectively–Ouch. Okay, ages twenty-seven and thirty–with nineteen years experience— respectively) seeking Alpha Males to love us with zeal and kiss us with skill. Gorgeous face and sexy, tattooed, hard body a must. If you aren’t a dangerous bad*ss with the x-rated skills and virility to match, don’t bother. Must be willing to protect us from danger, value our quirkiness, and keep your mouth shut when said quirkiness is what leads to said danger. Momma’s boys named Dan Smith need not apply.**

I know. It’s a bit wordy. In fact, it would probably cost a fortune. Luckily, we’re not ready for the personal ad. We’re not that desperate…yet.

This is my story.

Haley and her Mom, Allison, are more BFFs than mother/daughter. They are both HUGE fans of Kristen Ashley, and they both want their own Joe Callahan (At Peace, Kristen Ashley), but any Kristen Ashley hero would do.

“Where were the Kristen Ashley alpha males? I wanted one, for each of us. Kristen Ashley could write an alpha male like none other.”
“We needed to go on a road trip. A road trip with a very specific purpose…finding our Kristen Ashley alpha males.”

So they go about making a list. A list of all of the features they want in the men they are looking for.

• A is for Alpha Male
• B is for Badass
• C is for Cool Name
• D is for Dangerous…Kinda
• ….

They have a quality for every letter of the alphabet, and I have to say, it’s an awesome list. At this point in my reading, my face started hurting, Seriously, I was smiling so friggin hard while reading this book, my face hurt. I was reading it like this:

I was highlighting the whole book. Every single page has multiple highlights, if not the whole page. Both Haley and her mom were completely crazy, totally lovable characters. I was reading and thought, Yay! There is a new author I totally love and want to stalk!

Seriously, by 20 pages in, I knew already that A is for Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis would be one of my favorite books this year. I just love when the characters are completely over the top crazy fun. And honestly, since I never grew up, reading about a mother and daughter who are the same was a load of fun.

The first stop on the “Kristen Ashley Experience” road trip the two embarked on, was Gulf View Alabama (don’t worry, they eventually get to Denver). On their first night out, they head to a local bar, The Cabin, which they find reminiscent of the bars in their favorite books, and they proceed to go over the alphabetical list of alpha qualities they are looking for. After 6 guys hit on her, Haley was OK with khaki wearing Tom, but then again, is Tom a cool name?

“Tsk, tsk. Only one night in and you’re already lowering your standards and straying from the list? I expected more backbone from you.”

This, from the gorgeous bartender with the mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Rugged McDimple Cutie” had lots of qualities from the list…but his name. Dan Smith, kind of ruined the whole badass name thing. Through they evening Haley and Dan flirted and joked, and I found myself giggling out loud. But sadly, Dan offered to help Haley find another guy that fit all of her qualities. After hanging out all night, Haley and Dan decided to be BFFs, because basically “his tats were the perfect answer for my tits” and they decide to go to Dan’s house the next day to grill with Danny’s uncle and Allison.

I loved Danny. He was perfect! Besides being alpha and protective, he had dimples and used them a lot. He was friendly and funny and totally mischievous and just perfect for Haley’s absolute sweet craziness. But he insisted on being Haley’s BFF, and if that’s all Haley could get, she was OK with it. That didn’t stop her from thinking dirty thoughts.

“I wanted him to use that finger to touch me other places. Dirty, dirty places.

Well, not dirty literally. I’m not dirty or anything. I’m clean, very clean.”

After 2 days in Gulf View, it was time to move on with the road trip, but not without plans to talk every day and have Dan (who plans on reading Rock Chick) approve the guys Haley dates. She promises to call before and after each date, and they talk a lot while on the road. When one of her dates didn’t quite go so well, Danny was right there to comfort his ‘Hales’.

“He didn’t make you feel good, baby doll. I was going to change that”

Oh my God, I don’t know what it is about that line, but fuuuuuck, it was hot.

Reading this book just put me in an awesome mood. I just had so much fun!

There were so many great, funny lines in A is for Alpha Male! Usually I put a ton of quotes in my reviews, but it was so hard to work them in. So here are just a few of the quotes and parts that I just loved (I don’t want to ruin it by listing too many):

• “These days I would probably find all sorts of whips and chains and ball gags. And then when I put those down and stopped playing with them, I would probably find something that made me really uncomfortable.”
• I was suffering from the major problem of “horney-itis”. That’s the very technical, not at all made up, medical term for horniness.
• “Twenty-one questions can suck it”
• “Chicks before dicks. Hos before Bros. Moms before Doms.”
• “Small Plastic Penis Paraphenalia Enterprises”

Oh, and there wasn’t just fun, it was romantic and sexy too.

Likes:

• I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time.
• All of the Kristen Ashley references. Amazing if you are a fan, if you aren’t you should be. But if you haven’t read Kristen Ashley yet, that’s OK, just treat it as if it is a fictional author.
• Haley was completely crazy, and her mom wasn’t far behind. I fucking loved them, they never grew up, and since I’m the same, I loved reading about it.
• Danny. OMG, I loved that guy! He was just perfect, hot, alpha, sexy, protective, yet fun and silly too.
• So many awesome quotes! (See some above.)
• I loved the mother daughter relationship. Haley wasn’t broken, she came from a family full of love (though her father died when she was young.) Her mom boosted her self esteem in subtle ways all the time.
• I literally hugged my kindle at one point.

Dislikes:

• Certain parts felt very rushed. If there were another 40-50 pages it may be one of my favorite all-time books. The BFF relationship happened in a snap, but the last ¼ felt the most rushed.
• A few scenes were told instead of showed. I really wanted to read what happened in those scenes instead of told about them after (goes with the first one).
• I wanted more Danny (goes with the first one).
• I haven’t read Laurel before, but I hear she writes great sex. I wish there were more of it here. Again, this is a variation of I WANTED MORE!!!!!
• I found myself having to go back a couple of times to figure out what the hell they are talking about, like for instance a question would be asked, then we would read the inner dialogue for 3 pages then the answer…what was the question again? Then again, my brain cells aren’t always firing on all cylinders. that may be just my problem.

Rating: 5 stars 4 heat 

Honestly, the whole time I was reading A is for Alpha Male, I thought “Holy shit! this book is 5++++++ stars!”  It’s going to go right on my Top Picks: Funny Happy Books, and will be on my Top Books of 2013 list. In the end, I didn’t use the +++++ part because the last quarter of the book just felt a little too rushed for me. But you should know that it is that good that I could have a few dislikes and yet it is still a 5 star read and will be on those lists.

If Kristen Ashley and Tara Sivec had a baby book, it would be A is for Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis. Considering those are my two favorite authors, this is perhaps the best compliment I could pay a book. I asked, and was pleased to know that Kristen Ashley herself read the book and put her stamp of approval on it. So do I!

I can’t wait to party with both Laurel and Tara at Wicked Book Weekend this year. These two together will be one crazy fun time!

If you are looking for a feel-good, happy book with lots of laughs, look no further. Filled with endearing, quirky, slightly nutty characters, I hope to read more about these characters, perhaps in Allison’s story? I hear we might get Danny’s POV coming soon. That is just what we need to fill in the blanks 🙂

Purchase A is for Alpha Male by Laurel Ulen Curtis

Amazon | BN.com

UPDATE: Secret Alpha is Danny’s POV (See my review)

Laurel Ulen Curtis is a 26 year old mother of one. She lives with her husband and son (and cat and two fish!) in New Jersey, but grew up all over the United States. She graduated from Rutgers University in 2009 with a Bachelor of Science in Meteorology, and puts that to almost no use other than forecasting for her friends! She has a passion for her family, laughing, and reading and writing Romance novels.

Connect with Laurel

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Meet Laurel Ulen Curtis at Wicked Book Weekend 2015