Ball Peen Hammer by Lauren Rowe
Narrated by John Lane and Lauren Rowe
Standalone Romantic Erotic Comedy
Wow. Ball Peen Hammer by Lauren Rowe was certainly a different book. I had had several recommendations for the audiobook, and since the kindle was already on my TBR, I grabbed the audiobook instead. At first I laughed and cringed at the same time, because honestly, the hero is THE.MOST.OBNOXIOUS.GUY.ON.THE.PLANET. but he totally grows on you. In the end, you can’t help but love him.
“Still livin’ the dream, dolin’ out fantasies to the horny ladies one lap dance at a time.”
Okay, let me explain. Keane Morgan is a stripper. A very immature, self-centered, kind of dumb stripper whose claim to fame is that he can totally do the Magic Mike dance perfectly. But he is gorgeous as hell and has a heart of gold. He is as over-the top with the annoying bro lingo as you can get. I mean “bee tee dubs” instead of “by the way” was probably said 50 times. Along with “Yee-boi” and “Bruh”. I honestly don’t think I could have read it, but listening was kind of funny. Had I met him in person, I would have vomited in my mouth. But listening was fun.
Maddy Millikan is sweet, sassy and kind of nerdy, and headed to LA to go to film school. She has a long drive ahead of her, so her sister asks her to take her neighbor’s brother on the drive with her. Enter Ball Peen Hammer (Keane Morgan). The sexy blue-haired stripper was rude as hell to her at first, thinking it was some random texting him, so their relationship started rocky.
From him calling her “Baby doll” right off the bat and “baby cakes”, “sweet cheeks” and tons of other nicknames, it was enough to get Maddy’s sassy personality up front and center, when she is usually shy and tongue tied around guys she is attracted to. Since he swore not to fuck her, and she thought he was an idiot at first, despite his looks, they began their road trip firmly ensconced in the friend zone.
As they cross the country together and we get to know each of them as they get to know each other, I was surprised I ended up loving the sexy oaf. His tips to living a handsome and happy life were amazing, and I loved her smart, sweet ways, and how she bantered right back to Keane.
I must give a shout out to Peen’s relationship with his best friend and “wifey”, Z. They had their own language almost, and it was silly and over the top, but you also end up loving them together too.
“Yeah, you called it, brah. She’s definitely adorbsicles. A cutie patootie, I’d even say.”
“A cutie patootie? Holy shit. That’s next lev. She must be awfully cute.”
“She is. Best girl ever. But just as a friend, you know. An adorbsicles, cutie-patootie friend.” I pause. “But the thing is, Z–” I let out a long, tortured sigh. “I really, reeeeally wanna fuck the living hell outta my adorbsicles, cutie-patootie friend.”
The sex was hot, but the story wasn’t so much about the sex as it was this unlikely couple getting together, and breaking through the obnoxious boy shell of Keane to get to the real heart inside, and it was about him growing up a bit.
- How he really broke down the third wall and spoke directly to the readers.
- How the author was able to turn around someone I honestly couldn’t stand at first.
- I ended up laughing out loud several times.
- Silly and over the top, yet totally sweet and sexy at the same time.
- I loved how she was able to bring out the best in him and see that he was so much more than just a stripper.
- I loved the BFF relationship between Peen and Z, as well as the brother’s relationships.
- Maddy was smart, feisty, and just perfect to wise Peeny up.
- I loved that the female was narrated by the author herself.
- The bro-language was just too much sometimes. It was a little immature, but ended up being funny.
- Bee Tee Dubs -if I hear it again, I’m gonna vomit. (But that worked in the story).
The Down & Dirty:
Rating: 4 Stars, 4 Heat, 5 Narration
Purchase Ball Peen Hammer by Lauren Rowe
Ball Peen Hammer is a spin off of THE CLUB SERIES by Lauren Rowe, but completely stands alone.