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Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

11/30/2012

Oh Alice….I totally want to hang with you. How can we not be BFFs? I absolutely love The Redhead series, and now you have brought me Wallbanger. A light, fun happy mix of silly, sexy and fun, Wallbanger was everything I hoped it would be. I smiled throughout, I laughed out loud a few times, and I fell in love with Simon, aka Wallbanger, and Caroline and all of their friends. And Clive. Especially Clive.

Clive, you rock!

Caroline is an interior designer who has just moved into a new apartment with her cat, Clive. She is woken up on her first night by banging. Yes, that kind of banging. Her neighbor’s bedroom wall is up against hers. Not only does the headboard bang a picture onto her head, she can hear everything, including spanking, moaning, and “Oh God!”. This might be bad enough, but to make matters worse, Caroline has lost her “O” after a bad sexual encounter over 6 months before, poof–it’s gone.

“The beginnings of carpal tunnel were threatening to set in as I desperately tried to get myself off. But O was on a seemingly permanent hiatus. And I don’t mean Oprah.”

The description of her previous O-losing encounter had me cracking up:

“….This horribleness went on for months. Well, no. But for almost thirty minutes. Of in. And out. And in. And out. My poor hoohah felt like it had been sandblasted. By the time it was over, and he yelled, “So good!” on top of me, I had mentally arranged all of my spices and was starting on the cleaning supplies under the sink.”

The next morning Caroline tries to get a look through the peephole at her wallbanging neighbor Simon, but is unable to catch him, only a glimpse of his date, “Spanx”. However, the next night, she hears him again. This time though, she hears a new girl meowing. Yes, meowing.

“Clive went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He was literally climbing it….Sweet lord there were out of control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight”

By now Caroline is dying to see this guy (and get some damn sleep) but the next morning, she is only able to catch a glimpse of “Purina” saying goodbye through the peephole.

On night three, Caroline goes out with her friends (who I loved) Mimi and Sophia. When they get home, more than a little tipsy, they hear Wallbanger with woman #3, “Laughypants”, who just cant stop giggling between moans.

“Have you seen this guy yet? asked Mimi, still staring at the wall. Nope. My peephole is getting a workout though” “Glad to hear at least one hole is getting some around here” Sophia muttered.

On night four, when Caroline was interrupted while trying to find her lost O, she had enough. She stomped over to her neighbor’s door banging like a mad woman. When he comes to the door, he is scruffy and “stunning”….and still hard beneath the sheet (heehee).

“We share a bedroom wall. You’re right up against me when I’m trying to sleep. Have some common courtesy.”…

“Well, how come you can hear me and I can’t hear you? Wait, wait, there’s no one banging on your walls, is there?”

He smirked, and I felt the color drain from my face. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, and as I looked down, I remembered what I was wearing.

Pink baby doll nightie. What a way to establish credibility.

After realizing they had mutual friends, they soon struck up a friendship. Caroline called him Wallbanger and he called her “Pink Nighty Girl”. His best friends and hers started pairing off. And the texting began. The text flirting was awesome, with innuendos up the wazoo. Simon is a travel photographer and is often away for long stretches, but he even texts her when she is away. Of course, she is keeping him as only a friend because of his “harem”. But she is still being a good neighbor and friend by baking for him. A lot. And Simon has quite a relationship with baked goods:

“Yes, I’m in BA. Bakers Anonymous. We meet over at the bakery on Pine….There’s a better one over on Market, but I can’t go to that one anymore…. I got in trouble for fondling buns” he whispered.
“Thif if mine righ?” – Simon spraying crumbs everywhere

When there was a mishap in her apartment, and Simon came to fix it, she is checking him out:

“….his stomach hardened and revealed six little packs. Oops, make that eight. And then the V showed up. Hello, V…”

(I fucking love the V!)

As they start hanging out more and more they develop a great fun, flirty relationship. They were clearly more than attracted to each other. Poor Caroline needed her O back big time, but they still remained friends.

“He was like the best Kegel exercise ever- instant clench”

The three girls and Simon Wallbanger and his 2 friends all went together to Tahoe. The other two couples finally pair off correctly, but not Simon and Caroline. The drive back was perhaps my favorite part of the book. Each of the character’s thoughts were described word for word during the drive home from Tahoe. This part alone was worth reading the book for. Laugh out loud funny!

Our couple FINALLY gets down to the nasty (oh please, this isn’t a spoiler, you know it’s gonna happen) in the last 20% of the book. Until then, there was a LOT of frustration. I was starting to feel like Caroline! But when they finally did it….and got it RIGHT, WOW…….they didn’t stop!!!!

I loved that Simon took the lost O as a personal challenge and was excited to work very hard to recover it, and when she did, Angels sang! (And sang, and sang)

Likes:

  • I loved that it was a sweet, light, fun read with little to no angst.
  • Believable couple that built a friendship first.
  • I love the nicknames they have for each other.
  • Every character was great and I’d love a book on each couple.
  • The texts they sent each other.
  • The inner thoughts revealed by each character.
  • Caroline’s inner talk, and the way she referred to her body parts as separate entities.
  • Caroline’s grandmother had wise words about women learning to take compliments gracefully. It’s true ladies. We all need to learn to accept the compliments, and stop shooting them down after we get them. My new goal 🙂

Dislikes:

  • It started out as a 5+ star read, but the waiting for the O got to be a little too long. I don’t mind a tease, but this was a bit too much.
Rating: 4.75 Stars 4 for Heat
If you are looking for a light, fun, silly, flirty, sexy happy book between angstier reads, this is your book. If you refuse to read it because it was originally fanfic, that is foolish. I see absolutely ZERO similarities. Even if there were, who cares? It was an awesome book, and one I look forward to reading again on a day when I need a pick-me-up.
.
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4-5 Heat H's, 4-5 stars, Alice Clayton, All About Books, Giveaways, Reviews 38

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Comments

  1. Kelly Tannacore says

    11/30/2012 at 1:04 pm

    I never had a neighbor that I could hear, thank god, but I did have a neighbor who liked to liked to look out his window…alot! That was alittle creepy, being as though we were right across from each other. This book look great, can’t wait to read!

    Reply
  2. Molly Dawn (@reviewsbymolly) says

    11/30/2012 at 1:09 pm

    Oh my god yes!!! It would get annoying sometimes but other times…oh my! It was scorching hot and I would tear into my ex husband like there was no tomorrow….

    Thanks for the chance at the book!

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      11/30/2012 at 6:32 pm

      You’re welcome!

      Reply
  3. Spunky Nancy says

    11/30/2012 at 1:13 pm

    I would love to read this book! I don’t think I’ve read a bad one yet that you’ve reviewed!

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      11/30/2012 at 6:32 pm

      Thanks Nancy. Let us know soon if you are coming to the Orlando weekend!

      Reply
  4. Karen G. says

    11/30/2012 at 1:13 pm

    Wow this sounds great! I love funny, clever, realistic characters that take time to build a believable relationship with little angst. I am looking forward to reading this.

    Reply
    • Karen G. says

      11/30/2012 at 1:14 pm

      I have not had a neighbor I could hear, but a roommate unfortunately…yes.

      Reply
  5. Maria Malaveci says

    11/30/2012 at 1:19 pm

    No I have never ever had a neighbor that I could hear, lol!

    Reply
  6. Jessica Pinkstaff says

    11/30/2012 at 1:19 pm

    Ok so everyone has been talking about this book & I sooo want to read it!! Sounds great, & I hope I win 😉 hehe

    Reply
  7. Jessica Pinkstaff says

    11/30/2012 at 1:21 pm

    Oh & I have never had a neighbor I could hear but I have been told that I am the neighbor that can be heard lol..oops 😉

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      11/30/2012 at 6:33 pm

      Ha! I think I am too.

      Reply
  8. Tess says

    11/30/2012 at 1:27 pm

    Haha, thankfully no! I can’t imagine how awkward it’ll be if we meet in the lift… I wouldn’t be able to stop staring! @@

    Great review and thanks for the giveaway! I really can’t wait to read Wallbanger and have a good laugh 😀

    Tess
    tess_halim(at)hotmail(dot)com

    Reply
  9. Ricki says

    11/30/2012 at 1:39 pm

    I did one time in college. Actually my friend and I saw them from my dorm window (her room was around the corner from mine), My window was open and we heard some noises coming in from outside so we looked out, her bed was right up against her window and it was open too and we saw her and a guy we knew’s naked ass going up and down. She was usually a very uptight girl and he was a player, so we were shocked. They went at it for what seemed like forever.

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      12/03/2012 at 4:17 pm

      What was it like the next time you saw her?

      Reply
  10. Tracy says

    11/30/2012 at 2:29 pm

    Nope… Great review, can’t wait to read the book!

    Reply
  11. Lisa says

    11/30/2012 at 2:34 pm

    Gosh it has been so long since I lived in an apartment, but I don’t think I ever heard a neighbor. Now a roommate or two or three during college – Yep had those – but turn-about was fair play. LOL!

    Reply
  12. Pam B says

    11/30/2012 at 2:35 pm

    Hi

    I think when I was living in an apartment I heard the neighbors – but I do not remember anything embarrassing – thank goodness.

    Thanks for the chance.

    Pam

    Reply
  13. Linda says

    11/30/2012 at 2:59 pm

    My hubby had a neighbor we used to hear, but that was an old man, moaning from a hurting back =/ not as fun as Wallbanger =)
    Love this, =) thanks for the giveaway & Happy Friday!
    //Linda

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      11/30/2012 at 6:34 pm

      Definitely not as fun!

      Reply
  14. Nicki says

    11/30/2012 at 3:15 pm

    a couple years ago the neighbor boys (16-18ish) were having a little “get together” with two girls and they left the window open but blinds down. All I heard was “i’m not a slutt, I just like sex” and a boy “i’ve never done this before” and then some “sounds” before I closed my window and turned up the tv.
    btw.. what was it supposed to be fanfiction after?

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      11/30/2012 at 6:34 pm

      Twilight! I can not see one drop. I saw it in Fifty Shades. Not here.

      Reply
  15. Susana says

    11/30/2012 at 3:15 pm

    Nope…. I hope never will…. hahaha… can’t wait to read this book!!

    Reply
  16. Lisa w says

    11/30/2012 at 3:19 pm

    No neighbors that are close– of course when me and the Hubby were still dating I think his roomies got an earfull!
    modularmates(at)comcast(dot)net

    Reply
  17. Ms. Reality says

    11/30/2012 at 3:46 pm

    Oh yes! When I lived in my apartment!!! It was crazy!!!

    Reply
  18. Holley says

    11/30/2012 at 3:49 pm

    I have never had a neighbor I could hear, thankfully. I can’t wait to read this book, I loved the redhead series and the reviews for this sound just as good!

    Reply
  19. Angela R says

    11/30/2012 at 4:15 pm

    This sounds right up my alley! LOL

    Reply
  20. Trish says

    11/30/2012 at 4:53 pm

    Lol, i lived in college, i had many a neighbour i could hear :p

    Reply
  21. Cathy V. says

    11/30/2012 at 9:30 pm

    Yes, sort of! A few times each month, very early in the morning (2am or 3am) I would be awoken by loud music coming from next door and I could hear some people noises as well. They were either doing aerobics or the nasty. His taste in sex music was quite disturbing, the beat was so fast and out of control I can only guess they were having speedy rabbit sex. He was a cocky SOB, so I was happy to think that he wasn’t so suave in the bedroom to have good enough taste in music! I shudder to think what he may have heard though from his side 😛

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      12/03/2012 at 9:36 pm

      HAHA!!!!

      Reply
  22. Hope says

    12/01/2012 at 9:49 am

    Nope…never had a neighbor I could hear.

    I really need to read this book. It is really high on my TBR. I loved the Red Head series and I love Alice Clayton! I am kinda irritated that so many awesome reads are being released in December. Don’t these peeps know how busy I am right now?! 😉

    Reply
  23. *Pernille* says

    12/02/2012 at 4:19 am

    no, I have never had a neighbour I could hear, but I have one that suddenly appears in front of you in the living room. He never knocks when he comes on visit to borrow something.

    Reply
  24. Heather @ Red Headed Bookworm says

    12/02/2012 at 3:06 pm

    I’ve never lived close enough to someone to be able to hear. As long as it wasn’t keeping me up, it wouldn’t bother me though!

    Reply
  25. Amber says

    12/02/2012 at 9:32 pm

    Can not wait to read this one heard it was soooooo funny!!!

    Reply
  26. Bookworm Brandee says

    12/03/2012 at 12:47 am

    I’ve never had a neighbor but I DID have a roommate…ugh! I knew WAY more about her sex life than I needed to. =) Thanks for the awesome review and the chance to win!

    Reply
  27. Melissa B says

    12/03/2012 at 7:39 am

    No, living out in the country I can not hear my neighbors. I have heard a few when I stayed in hotels before. Hehehe

    Reply
  28. Becky Warnick says

    12/03/2012 at 7:43 am

    I have never had a neighbor that I could hear. Thanks for the give away.

    Reply
  29. Nikki says

    12/03/2012 at 9:41 am

    This was a great review! I can’t wait to get the book.

    Thank goodness I’ve never had a noisy neighbour. Well, not noisy in that way 😉

    Reply
  30. Jessica says

    12/03/2012 at 3:34 pm

    Nope I have never had a neighbor I could hear. Although some of these other stories I wish I have just to have the story 🙂

    Reply

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