My Favorite Kidnapper by Melanie Moreland

Narrated by Maxine Mitchell and John Lane

Standalone RomCom

I won an audiobook copy of My Favorite Kidnapper by Melanie Moreland on Facebook. I thought the illustrated cover was cute, I always wanted to read Melanie Moreland, and I was seeing lots of buzz surrounding the book, so I went in blind.

And I’m going to be honest here. At first, I thought I was being punked. I read a lot of romcoms, but this one was so ridiculous that I almost DNFd it. I very rarely DNF a book, so I went on Goodreads and took a peek at the ratings—they were all phenomenal! So I decided to stick with it and just give in to the silliness. I’m so glad I did.

“You-you high-handed, cupcake-stealing…motherplucker!”

Dante is a grouchy, rich art dealer from Italy with a major sweet tooth. He’s in town for his niece’s wedding, and while he is checking to make sure it’s all set up, he sees the most gorgeous wedding cake, and he can’t help but give it a little taste. Well okay, more than a little. When Brianna, the baker, sees him, she swats him away and gives him a piece of her mind. He is immediately enamored with her and kisses her!

When Brianna wouldn’t quit her miserable job to bake just for him, Dante went ahead and kidnapped her and her cat and brought her to his villa in Italy after paying all her debts.

“You bewitched me. You and your delicious cakes. Your sultry voice. Your sassy mouth. I can’t get you out of my mind. I want you to bake for me. Sing for me. Dance with me. You will earn your freedom, one cake, one song, one dance at a time.”

Brianna was 26 and Dante was 38 and she never let him forget it, their banter was adorable, especially because Brianna wouldn’t use swear words.

“You sass off and call me that, you get fucked, Little Bee. Until I’ve had my fill. You’ve been warned.”

Just because she doesn’t swear does not mean this book wasn’t spicy, oh it was.

Likes:

Once I gave in to the ridiculousness, I was smiling the whole time.
The cover illustration is so perfect!
A fun, sweet, and easy read.
Brianna is curvy and Dante made sure he let her know how much he liked that.
Adorable banter.
Nicely descriptive, I found myself in Italy hungering for some amazing cake.
Great epilogue.

Dislikes:

I think if I knew this was such a silly story before going in I may have loved it more but not realizing it made it take a while to get past the ridiculousness.
He called her Little Bee 135 times. If I never hear “Little Bee” again it will be too soon.

The Narration:

I love Maxine Mitchell, she is one of my favorites, but I think John Lane’s narration is part of the reason why I didn’t realize how silly it was supposed to be, and why it seemed even sillier. He has such a deep, booming, serious voice it made the premise even goofier.

The Down & Dirty:

Once I realized that My Favorite Kidnapper was supposed to be over-the-top unrealistic and gave in to the silliness, I absolutely loved the sweet and light read. It wasn’t slapstick comedy, don’t get me wrong, but being kidnapped for cake is kind of silly don’t you think? I am so glad I peeked at all the great ratings and stuck with it because there was actually so much to love about My Favorite Kidnapper.