His Package by Penelope Bloom

Holiday Romcom. 4th Standalone in a series.

His Package by Penelope Bloom was the last of the 2018 Christmas season for me, and I am so glad it ended on a high note! I loved this book, and I can’t wait to go back and read the previous books, His Banana, Her Cherry, and His Treat. Though I never felt like this wasn’t a standalone, now that I know they are related, I look forward to going back for more. The blurbs of every one of them is so clever with double entendres!

“His package ended up inside my box.
Calm down, perv. My mailbox.
As soon as I saw what was inside,
I knew two things:
It belonged to my hot neighbor, and he had a dirty secret.”

I absolutely LOVED Lilith’s snark. How can you not love a character with this attitude?

People always thought I wasn’t a “people person,” whatever that even means. Well, guess what, assholes? I was totally a people person.
But there’s something I enjoy even more than casual acts of the universe’s great balancing act. I don’t excite easily, and I don’t make a habit of smiling—but I especially enjoy waiting for karma to strike down someone when they’ve pissed me off.

Lilith has a new hot neighbor across the hall, Liam, who rented the apartment to hide from his crazy stepsister who is trying to ruin his life because he wouldn’t sleep with her. When Lilith and Liam’s packages get switched, he comes over with her 7-inch “package” and she has no problem letting him know how she uses it!!! I loved Lilith down to her dark little soul, and all of the supporting characters were amazing as well.

“How’s your dark little life treating you?” Grammy asked me.
“Just waiting for the next disappointing turn of events. What about you, planning on dying any time soon?”

I loved how Lilith really grew throughout the story, and we got to see what was behind the snark. Besides the funny lines, this was actually a fairly mature and well-handled relationship, and I really enjoyed that for a change. But my favorite thing in a book is banter, and let me tell you, there was TONS of great banter!

“Look at you.” I made a floppy hand gesture toward him. “How many times have you ever had to do more than wink at a girl to get her to strip naked and beg to have sex with you? I feel like I owe it to the world to make it hard for you.”
“Well, you’ve accomplished that. A few times, actually.”
Oh, my… I wasn’t a blusher, but my face felt a little hot. I must’ve been getting a fever.

Most of the time, a guy like Liam would kind of not be my type. He was too lax about his stepsister, hiding instead of fighting back, but it made Lilith really stand out, and they were awesome together.

Likes:

Easily stands alone.
Can be read any time of year.
Every single character.
Lilith’s amazing snark.
I laughed out loud numerous times.
So much clever innuendo.

Dislikes:

Not a damn thing.

The Down & Dirty:

I actually have bought the books in the Object of Affection series as they came out because I loved the covers and blurbs, but never got around to reading them. I am so freaking glad I finally got to one! His Package was sarcastic, snarky, sweet, funny, sexy and an all-around blast to read. It stood alone just fine, but now I want to go back and read them all. I highly recommend this one!