The minute I saw the blurb for Taint by SL Jennings, was drooling to read it. What a sexy fantasy! A strong, sexy teacher teaching housewives how to fuck? Hello! Sign me up, if this guy is teaching, I’m in.
Right now, you’re probably asking yourself two things:
Who am I?
And, what the hell are you doing here?
Let’s start with the most obvious question, shall we?
You’re here, ladies, because you can’t fuck.
Oh, stop it. Don’t cringe. No one under the age of 80 clutches their pearls.
You might as well get used to it, because for the next six weeks, you’re going to hear that word a lot. And you’re going to say it a lot.
Go ahead, try it out on your tongue.
Ok, good. Now where were we?
If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle.
For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to fuck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.
And who am I?
Well, for the next six weeks, I will be your lover, your teacher, your best friend, and your worst enemy. Your every-fucking-thing. I’m the one who is going to save your relationship and your sex life.
I am Justice Drake.
And I turn housewives into whores.
Justice Drake. Sex trainer to the wealthiest of the wealthy. These women can afford to pay to look the part with plastic surgery, clothes, hair and makeup and trainers, but most are too prim and proper to really get dirty.
“They seem perfect in every way. Beautiful, intelligent, graceful. The perfect accessory for the man who has it all.
Except one thing.
They’re as dull as lukewarm dishwater once you get them on their perfectly postured backs.”
So while their husbands bang their secretaries, the women wonder why. Enter Justice Drake, and his exclusive resort, Oasis. Justice is there to teach. He doesn’t really teach by doing (unfortunately–major disappointment!), but he is a good teacher, and for 6 weeks, 4 times a year, Justice turns society housewives into whores.
“I know my boundaries, and I never cross them. In a business where lines can easily be blurred, those boundaries are outlined in black sharpie, traced in gasoline, then set the fuck on fire, ensuring that no one even gets close enough to inhale the fumes of temptation.”
But Allison Carr was different. She was real, she was natural. She had freckles she didn’t bleach away. Red hair that wasn’t overly styled, she ate ice cream and real food. And Justice was hooked.
“Day-fucking-One. I’m so screwed.”
Justice is a fun teacher. He loves to get the women all flabbergasted and worked up.
“Truth be told, I love this shit. I love ruffling their meticulously groomed feathers. Their obvious discomfort entertains me.”
Justice’s job is to get the women to feel sexy first, so they can be sexy. But with Ally, he means it.
“I think you’re sexy as fuck, Ally,” I whisper, my breath tempting the skin right below her ear. “You just don’t know it yet.”
Some of the book read like a fun training manual, and though some advice I didn’t need, I was reminded of a few things, and I’ll tell you, Mr. Ana had no complaints. A few pieces of bedroom advice:
“Shower your man with adoration, and leave no room for another woman to take your place. Men are like children, they constantly need positive reinforcement.”
Confidence is what makes you sexy.
“This is what your husbands want to see when you open your legs. No one wants to fuck Chewbacca. Groom your pussy as if you’re Sharon Stone’s crotch-shot stunt double.”
“Anticipation is what keeps us at home, dick hard, wanting you. Understand?”
Justice was a lonely guy. With a mysterious past, he hides away at his secret location all year long. He doesn’t have relationships. But Ally gets under his skin. Justice knows she is married, and there to learn how to keep her asshole, cheating husband happy; but he can’t help the way he feels as they begin to hang out (as friends) outside of class.
“What is it about this girl? She’s so cool and cute and funny, and just…real. She’s my burger girl. Everyone else is just salad–cold and unfulfilling.”
Justice loved to bring out the inner slut of the students. And he did that by teasing and coaxing without intimately touching. His job was to “unleash the deviant that had been living within her walls of inhibition”. He loved to do this. Until Ally. Then suddenly, all that mattered was touching her. Teasing her.
“To her, it’s just an innocent peck on the cheek. To me, it’s enough to make my dick try to manually unzip my slacks, in hopes that it’ll get a kiss too.”
I really enjoyed watching Justice and Ally’s relationship develop. Ally was fun and down to earth and didn’t deserve the prick she was married to. Justice needed a woman like her, and he would have been wonderful to her. But he has secrets, and she has a husband. Can they work?
“I want to consume you, Ally. I want to devour every bit of you until there’s no you and there’s no me. Until we’re nothing but sensation and exhaustion. Until you see music and hear colors.”
- It was like taking a sex class!
- Quick read I read in one sitting.
- There were a lot of funny lines.
- I enjoyed seeing the relationship develop between Ally and Justice, especially the Coke or Pepsi type questions.
- There was a helluva build up…will they ever really get together or are they just flirting really close?
- The story was completely unique.
- I never guessed the twist.
- Taint is a Standalone.
- The fact that it is all from the male POV made it difficult to fully connect.
- I felt like we should have been given some foreshadowing of the twist, since we were in Justices head for the whole book. It would have been a major part of his thoughts.
- I expected and hoped it would be way dirtier than it was.
- The title!!! It catches your attention, but come on, a taint will always be the ABC to me (Ass-Ball-Connection)
Rating: 4 Stars, 4 Heat
Taint was a wonderfully unique book in a sea of sameness lately. It was a quick and easy, sexy and educational read with some truly snarky lines. Though I enjoyed reading from the man’s point of view, I also think it’s what held me back from the higher rating, I just couldn’t connect as deeply as I wished. Still, it was fun and unique and I recommend it for a quick sexy read. And hey, we can all use some of the lessons in this book!
Purchase TAINT by S.L. Jennings
Most known for her starring role in a popular sitcom as a child, S.L. Jennings went on to earn her law degree from Harvard at the young age of 16. While studying for the bar exam and recording her debut hit album, she also won the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking invention of calorie-free wine. When she isn’t conquering the seas in her yacht or flying her Gulfstream, she likes to spin elaborate webs of lies and has even documented a few of these said falsehoods.
Some of S.L.’s devious lies:
THE DARK LIGHT SERIES
Meet the liar: