Lost In The Affair by E.K. Blair
Standalone. Erotic but NOT a romance. May have themes that are disturbing. *Renamed from Author Anonymous*
Readers and authors do live in a bit of a fantasy world. We read and immerse ourselves in the perfect lives of sexy, dashing, rich, dominant men who say and do all the right things and fulfill our every fantasy.
Then our husbands, roll over, fart, and don’t even notice that you just got into bed at midnight after working all day, then cleaning the kitchen and making lunches for the kids.
“Life is messy, and you can’t compare reality to fiction because you’ll always wind up disappointed.”
Your sex lives go from not being able to keep your hands off each other to once a week (if you’re lucky) for about 5 minutes while you both find a way to lay down during it.
“Maybe it’s an inevitable part of marriage, and all those couples who claim to still have the wild burning fire are full of shit.”
Now imagine you accidentally meet someone online who is your fantasy book boyfriend come true. He hangs on your every word. He wants you desperately. He’s forbidden and dangerous and oh so tempting. It’s not really cheating if you’re just chatting online is it? What about over the phone? Video chatting? These things can snowball as fantasy and reality intermingle.
“For the first time ever, I get to be the character in my own fantasy land.”
Being away most of August, I missed the hype and build-up to E.K. Blair’s true story about Author Anonymous. Quite honestly, since I don’t read dark books often, this type of story usually wouldn’t catch my attention. But then I heard the speculation begin, and I heard some mention that the authors may have met at a Florida signing. Since EK has signed at Wicked Book Weekend, I had to click.
I’ll be honest. I don’t care who it’s really about. I don’t want to know. It could be anyone. It could be 5 people mashed into one story. In fact, I sent this to several friends that have gone down this road or a similar one themselves, caught up in the excitement and mystery of a new guy who makes them feel special and sexy.
“I mean, who does this? I’ll tell you who . . . me. A middle-aged housewife who was desperate for a little bit of fun.”
I don’t like cheating in books. But I can see how it sucked her in at first by accident.
But when the accident becomes so deliberately sneaky I started to not relate so much. I understand getting so caught up with someone that you are blinded by obsession, but this woman was a mother. And those kids should come first no matter what. She was so busy living her fantasy life that she forgot about her kids and everything else important in her life.
Brooke, her best friend and assistant, was awesome. She was supportive and understanding and stood by her friend even while letting her know how wrong she was. Victoria did not deserve a friend like Brooke.
“And I will always love you no matter how badly you fuck up, and I’m telling you right now, as your friend, you are about to lose everything. You don’t want to do this. You’re caught up right now. Everything is exciting and new, but those feelings are just temporary. And when they’re gone, and you’re left with nothing, you’ll realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life.”
I highlighted more in this book than almost any other I have read. There were so many relatable lines. So many parts that I have friends experiencing right now. Like this.
“I hate that he’s still so angry. I betrayed him, I know, but how long am I supposed to live like this? Why can’t we just move on? But no, I’m constantly being punished. He throws what I did in my face all the time, and I can’t take it anymore. (…)
I created the wound, but it’s Landon that’s pouring acid on it and driving me away.”
But there was also so much that I couldn’t relate to. Her obsession became almost psychotic. Her complete disregard of family and friends was repulsive. But I couldn’t put it down.
I loved it.
I hated it.
I was consumed by it.
Seeing someone completely self destruct is not an easy read. This is no fluffy romance novel folks, but Author Anonymous is real. It’s raw. It’s shocking. It’s scandalous. And it’s completely addictive. Like watching a train wreck and you can’t look away for a second.
Victoria’s self-flagellation and self-hating words while she continued to go about being a total fuck-up did start to get old for me. Like if she hated herself enough we might feel bad for her, but it just made me get more angry. If she knows how horrible she is, STOP.
“But me? I’m garbage. I’m a horrible woman who does horrible things.”
“I’m selfish and oh-so-fucked-up.”
One note: while I like books that take place in the author/blogger world, I thought it was all portrayed in a very negative light. As someone who has blogged for 4.5 years and put on 5 drama-free author events I found this a bit upsetting, and I’m not sure whose feelings these really are, EK or anonymous? Yes, there have been scandals, and I witnessed a big one personally at a signing I went to, but there is so much more good. Here is one line I really tend to agree with, and since I put on my signings with my husband, I totally get because it’s exactly how he feels.
“Turn the tables, how would you feel if I went to a work convention and there were half-naked women in bikinis flaunting around? They have nothing to do with my job as a chef, just like those guys have nothing to do with your job as a writer.”
- Her best friend and assistant, Brooke, is the perfect supportive friend.
- How relatable the storyline is at first. I can see just how easily this can happen.
- Incredible writing that sucked me in and never let go.
- I never really knew who to root for and it kept me so off balance.
- This is completely outside my comfort zone since I hate cheating, and even more, I hate lying, sneaky characters, yet I was completely consumed.
- It took place in our world of books and signings, even though I wish it wasn’t portrayed as negatively.
- Some of the inside info about publishing.
- As hard a story as it is to love, I can say I loved it because of the incredible, addictive narrative.
- Some really hot sex.
- I highlighted more passages & quotes than in almost any book I’ve read.
Dislikes: (I will not comment on the story here, because it’s a true story)
- Oh how I hate the word ‘cum’.
- I’m not sure why, but the few errors I found bothered me more in this book about an author than they usually do. It could use one more round of proofing.
- The portrayal of the author/blogger/book world was almost insulting.
- Too much “I hate myself” while she never tried to stop being a person she hated.
The Down and Dirty:
Wow. Author Anonymous completely blew me away. It was raw, all-consuming, repulsive at times, addictive, but most of all it was real. Whether it’s really real or not doesn’t matter to me. Who it’s about doesn’t matter to me. I know it is real because I have 4 close friends that went through a lot of what happened here. I could see how easy this can start after being together with Mr. Ana for 29 years and 2 separations (but neither of us cheated). Marriages go through ups and downs and it’s easy to be swayed by some attention you haven’t had in years. To be sucked in by the fantasy. I want to hate Anonymous. I want to scorn her. Many times I did. How can she do what she did to a man who loved her so? To her best friend? to her girls? To her readers? But yet I understood her a bit.
All of these confused emotions of understanding and anger are what made Author Anonymous so freaking good. You may want to read it with a glass of wine or a joint in hand, and make sure you have a protective case on your kindle, because you may have to throw it.
But read it. It’s NOT a pretty romance. It’s completely taboo. It is a warning to not go down that road. I don’t read cheating and it’s all about cheating, but Author Anonymous is unputdownable and pretty amazing.
Rating: 4.75 stars (My feeling is 5 stars, but the few petty dislikes pulled it down from a perfect rating), 4.5 Heat. *NOTE: I HATED the story itself because I hate cheating, but since it’s true, I rated the TELLING.
Purchase Author Anonymous: A True Story by EK Blair
I contacted E.K. Blair after I finished and asked for a signed paperback giveaway because I want to share the obsession with you, and I want my readers to take notice of this review, because it is so different and out of my comfort zone, and I still loved it.
Winner: Signed Paperback (US) or Kindle version (International)