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Things I Learned at Wicked Book Weekend Giveaway

Things I Learned at Wicked Book Weekend

Over 50 authors and over 300 fans gathered in Ft. Lauderdale for the 2nd annual Wicked Book Weekend. No matter if you came alone or in a group, everyone came away with new friends and amazing memories.
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Here are a few of the things I learned:
1) No matter how much I deal with them, I am still blown away when authors actually speak to me. But in my room? Holy shit. I’m still tongue tied when it comes to one-on-one conversation and keep chanting in my head “I’m not worthy!” over and over.
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(Harper Sloan, Tessa Teevan, me, Melanie Codina IN MY ROOM, just the first of many!)

2) Authors look nothing like their photos. Next time, stalk their pages beforehand so you know who the fuck you are talking to.

hello_my_name_is_huh I got no idea!

3) An event is only as good as the volunteers, and I had an amazing group of them! There is no way any of this would have happened without them.  I had 2, Tara and Kerriann show up out of the blue, and they worked their asses off with all of the other awesome volunteers. And Lori Stern. Damn, that girl is a machine!

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4) Joanne Christenson…I’d marry her if I could.

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5) This is the only place in the world I ever get to be Mistress Ana. And Fuck Book Friends will be my bitches, whores, subs, kitties and sluts, we even get sashes and tiaras.

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…and they grab my boob…

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6) A hotel bar CAN run out of booze. Girls away from their husbands and kids for the weekend can sure party! And party a LOT.

7) If you yell ‘Penis & Vagina’ over a loud speaker on a booze cruise with 120 women (and 5 men), nobody will hear you, except the 15 year old you didn’t know was there.

8) Women are hungry, dammit. You need to serve FASTER!

9) Apparently Megan is OK with me riding her.

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10) Next time remember to get an author (all of them) and a volunteer picture, because both groups were amazing.

11) Expect the line for the half naked cover model to be a bit longer than the rest.

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12) Ask someone to show their boobs to win a prize, and they will. Ask someone to find a guy with a tattoo, and they will grab any strange guy, even an author’s husband, throw them over their shoulder and run on to the stage.

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13) I should try to remember to get my own books signed at my events, there should be one perk, right? Or should have sent one of my whores around with it.

14) 8 Vibrators racing down a track can be loud, much slower than I thought, but still entertaining, especially when yelled over a megaphone.

15) Meeting the friends you have been talking to for months online in person and liking them just as much as you thought is awesome.

16) Everyone loves a strap-on goat.

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17) Vodka soaked gummy worms and gummy bears from Dawn Robertson are sticky, slippery little fuckers, yet 200 women and men will eat them off the same fork with no hesitation.

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18) If you don’t point out the gorgeous candy table to a bunch of drunk fuckers, they won’t even notice it.

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19) When the po po come to your room and find 50 drunk screaming women, they don’t know what to say. When you try to bribe them and ask them to take off their uniform and join the fun with a tiara on your head, they may not take your very seriously.

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20) When the room crawl moves to the pool, my husband will race around like a loon to make a gigantic jug of Sangria so that the 50 thirsty whores (who have 500 shots) won’t get rowdy. It didn’t work.

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21) Harper Sloan is my soul mate. She just doesn’t know it.

22) Penny Reid is Superwoman. Seriously. She has the suit and everything. And she made a meme of me, so I have no choice but to love her.

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23) SM Donaldson has blackmail video of everything. Watch out for her.

24) There are too many pretty authors. I didn’t know we’d have more female cover models than male!

25) If you bring a coloring book of vaginas, make sure you have more flesh colored crayons, and for God’s sake, NEVER play Brown Eyed Girl!

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26) “Dawn Robertson’s Tits” and “Cooch Juice” can be the words of the night anywhere we go.

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27) Smuffins are pretty awesome. And authors know how to have fun and be silly. The more fun they were, the more we want to read them!

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28) NEVER tag people in photos from Wicked Book Weekend, and never, ever look at photos of yourself.

29) Never leave out any of the items from Wicked Book Weekend for your kids to find, especially the stuff from Harper Sloan.

30) If you work your ass off and don’t sleep for 6 months, it’s worth it to give so many people an amazing weekend.

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Wicked Book Weekend was something I swore I’d never take on again. But after hearing so many people have an amazing time…I am looking at dates for the next one!

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Comments

  2. Looks like you had a lot of fun. I’m going to an author event in July and I can’t wait. They look like so much fun. 🙂 Thanks for the giveaway.

    Reply

  4. Sounds like an amazing weekend! Maybe someday I’ll be able to attend. Thanks for the giveaway!

    Reply

  6. I made your list 🙂 I love you so much. I never thought you’d love the box as much as you did. I’m still smiling.
    I had the best time. I loved volunteering and was so happy & honored you trusted me to help. I cannot wait until the next one.

    Reply

  9. Glad you all had fun, I was stalking in FB and Instagram the whole weekend! Maybe one day I will get to see Florida!

    Reply

  12. I just love this blog.. I look forward this every day.. you rock thank you for the oneclickers.

    Reply

  15. I can only imagine how much fun you ladies had!! I would loved to have been there!! Thanks for the giveaway!!

    Reply

  16. Wish I could have been there looked like a great time. Thanks for the chance to win some great goodies

    Reply

  20. wish I was there!! Well, Maybe next time??
    and thanks for the giveaway!!

    Reply

  21. OMG! Sounds like SO MUCH F’g FUN!!!!!!! I wanna go….hopefully next time!! Great job Ana! If the weekend was 1/2 as good as your blog I’m sure it was AMAZING!!!! Thanks for all you do!!

    Reply

  22. Wicked Book Weekend is the best damn weekend because of all the awesome Wicked whores, sluts and bitches! We all had a great time! Thank you so much for bringing us all together and all of your hard work! Love ya to pieces! I’m loving the learned lists and glad Cooch juice made the list! Too freakin funny!

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  24. This post was amazing!!!! Wicked Book Weekend was amazing!!! And I’m all about 21!!! I’m beyond in love with Harper Sloan!!!!!!!

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  25. Awesome f’ing weekend. Can’t wait to see you in June, when you can relax and not be the promoter:-) love you Ana!!! VAGINA!!!

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  28. Congratulations on a successful event! It looks like you had a great time (besides all the work!) Thanks for the pictures, I would have loved to have been there but I would have been tongue tied too. haha

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  32. Looks like you all had a wonderful time. Wish I could’ve been there. Thanks for the giveaway!

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  34. Daaaang! it looks like y’all had a blast. Now I really wish I could’ve been there! Of course I might have been in the corner wide eyed in disbelief, but I know I would’ve had a blast!

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  47. Looks like the event was a total blast, I hate that I missed it. Thanks for doing this great giveaway!!

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  48. So jealous and anxiously awaiting the dates for the next one! Would so love to go to one of these events! Thank you for all you do, you f-ing ROCK!!!!!

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  57. I am so happy I went to the wicked book event. I met amazing authors, fun Blogger and most of all book addicts like me. I follow all your book recommendations and you have introduced me to books and authors I would have missed out on. It was great meeting all you fantastic ladies.

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  58. Oh my god, so funny! Love the race video and the coloring book! Looks like everyone had a fantastic time! Thanks for the great giveaway and sharing your weekend!

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  60. Love the pictures! Looks like everybody had an amazing time! Thank you for this awesome giveaway! 🙂

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  63. WOW! That was awesome. I mean, the picture says it all. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS. I wish I live in the US so I could attend even just one event. :(((( But I love seeing all these pictures. You guys had a great time and it feels like I was there too. 🙂

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  65. Thanks for the giveaway! I would of loved to of went, cause it looks like y’all had an amazing time! Maybe I’ll be able to go to the next one! 😉

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  66. Had another great time!! Just bummed we didn’t get to spend much time together! I love the shot of me looking like Katie Ashley’s bouncer as she called me!

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  67. I had such an amazing time! Especially without ALL of my (8) kids! I have new friends IRL, like Cheryl Nasca, Joanne Christensen, Kristin Owens. And I have new author friends like Ella Dominguez, Penny Reid (who I am totally fan girling over!), Dawn Robertson, etc. EPIC event! Thank you, Ana!

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  68. Such an awesome giveaway!! Thanks for the chance! Glad to see you guys had a great time!

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  69. Looks like you had LOTS of fun! Wish I could have been there!! Thanks for the giveaway!

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  75. So jealous I couldn’t attend the Wicked Book Weekend!! But thank you for bringing a piece of it back for us. 🙂

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  77. I will make it to this event one day. I’ll walk if I have to! Thank you for the giveaway!

    Reply

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