2) Authors look nothing like their photos. Next time, stalk their pages beforehand so you know who the fuck you are talking to.
3) An event is only as good as the volunteers, and I had an amazing group of them! There is no way any of this would have happened without them. I had 2, Tara and Kerriann show up out of the blue, and they worked their asses off with all of the other awesome volunteers. And Lori Stern. Damn, that girl is a machine!
4) Joanne Christenson…I’d marry her if I could.
5) This is the only place in the world I ever get to be Mistress Ana. And Fuck Book Friends will be my bitches, whores, subs, kitties and sluts, we even get sashes and tiaras.
…and they grab my boob…
6) A hotel bar CAN run out of booze. Girls away from their husbands and kids for the weekend can sure party! And party a LOT.
7) If you yell ‘Penis & Vagina’ over a loud speaker on a booze cruise with 120 women (and 5 men), nobody will hear you, except the 15 year old you didn’t know was there.
8) Women are hungry, dammit. You need to serve FASTER!
9) Apparently Megan is OK with me riding her.
10) Next time remember to get an author (all of them) and a volunteer picture, because both groups were amazing.
11) Expect the line for the half naked cover model to be a bit longer than the rest.
12) Ask someone to show their boobs to win a prize, and they will. Ask someone to find a guy with a tattoo, and they will grab any strange guy, even an author’s husband, throw them over their shoulder and run on to the stage.
13) I should try to remember to get my own books signed at my events, there should be one perk, right? Or should have sent one of my whores around with it.
14) 8 Vibrators racing down a track can be loud, much slower than I thought, but still entertaining, especially when yelled over a megaphone.
16) Everyone loves a strap-on goat.
17) Vodka soaked gummy worms and gummy bears from Dawn Robertson are sticky, slippery little fuckers, yet 200 women and men will eat them off the same fork with no hesitation.
18) If you don’t point out the gorgeous candy table to a bunch of drunk fuckers, they won’t even notice it.
19) When the po po come to your room and find 50 drunk screaming women, they don’t know what to say. When you try to bribe them and ask them to take off their uniform and join the fun with a tiara on your head, they may not take your very seriously.
20) When the room crawl moves to the pool, my husband will race around like a loon to make a gigantic jug of Sangria so that the 50 thirsty whores (who have 500 shots) won’t get rowdy. It didn’t work.
21) Harper Sloan is my soul mate. She just doesn’t know it.
22) Penny Reid is Superwoman. Seriously. She has the suit and everything. And she made a meme of me, so I have no choice but to love her.
23) SM Donaldson has blackmail video of everything. Watch out for her.
24) There are too many pretty authors. I didn’t know we’d have more female cover models than male!
25) If you bring a coloring book of vaginas, make sure you have more flesh colored crayons, and for God’s sake, NEVER play Brown Eyed Girl!
26) “Dawn Robertson’s Tits” and “Cooch Juice” can be the words of the night anywhere we go.
27) Smuffins are pretty awesome. And authors know how to have fun and be silly. The more fun they were, the more we want to read them!
28) NEVER tag people in photos from Wicked Book Weekend, and never, ever look at photos of yourself.
29) Never leave out any of the items from Wicked Book Weekend for your kids to find, especially the stuff from Harper Sloan.
30) If you work your ass off and don’t sleep for 6 months, it’s worth it to give so many people an amazing weekend.
Wicked Book Weekend was something I swore I’d never take on again. But after hearing so many people have an amazing time…I am looking at dates for the next one!
Carole D. says
Awesome giveaway!!!
AmyS. says
Looks like you had a lot of fun. I’m going to an author event in July and I can’t wait. They look like so much fun. 🙂 Thanks for the giveaway.
Mary Bilowus says
Sounds like you had a blast. Thanks for the giveaway!
Pam says
Sounds like an amazing weekend! Maybe someday I’ll be able to attend. Thanks for the giveaway!
Jacqui says
I’m so glad you had a great time. I would love to attend one.
Joanne Christenson says
I made your list 🙂 I love you so much. I never thought you’d love the box as much as you did. I’m still smiling.
I had the best time. I loved volunteering and was so happy & honored you trusted me to help. I cannot wait until the next one.
Ana's Attic says
I LOVE YOU.
Kim says
Too bad I could not make it, it sounds like a great time.
JennSmith says
Wish I could have been there!
Jan Richard says
Glad you all had fun, I was stalking in FB and Instagram the whole weekend! Maybe one day I will get to see Florida!
Kelli says
It looks like yall had a blast Im going to make travel plans for next year!
Rachel Brown says
Looks like a great time. Thanks for the giveaway!!!
cindy maynard says
I just love this blog.. I look forward this every day.. you rock thank you for the oneclickers.
lisa says
Looks like you had an amazing time! Living vicariously through your blogs. Xoxo.
Kristy says
Looked like an awesome time!
Amy Pollard Woolard says
I can only imagine how much fun you ladies had!! I would loved to have been there!! Thanks for the giveaway!!
Lorie Glowania says
Wish I could have been there looked like a great time. Thanks for the chance to win some great goodies
Leslie Rodriguez says
Sounds like you all had a blast. Thank you for another amazing giveaway.
Melissa Page says
I had sooooo much fun! Can’t wait to do it again next year!!! There are even crazy pics of me on your site, lol!!
Feifei Le says
LOVE this post!! Looks like a lot of fun and glad you and others had a blast! 😀
Angel Cullen (@AngelCullen_94) says
wish I was there!! Well, Maybe next time??
and thanks for the giveaway!!
LesleyG says
OMG! Sounds like SO MUCH F’g FUN!!!!!!! I wanna go….hopefully next time!! Great job Ana! If the weekend was 1/2 as good as your blog I’m sure it was AMAZING!!!! Thanks for all you do!!
Cheryl Nasca says
Wicked Book Weekend is the best damn weekend because of all the awesome Wicked whores, sluts and bitches! We all had a great time! Thank you so much for bringing us all together and all of your hard work! Love ya to pieces! I’m loving the learned lists and glad Cooch juice made the list! Too freakin funny!
Joanne Christenson says
How could CJ not make the list lmao
Stacy says
Great Giveaway!!!
Karen says
This post was amazing!!!! Wicked Book Weekend was amazing!!! And I’m all about 21!!! I’m beyond in love with Harper Sloan!!!!!!!
Titty tat says
Awesome f’ing weekend. Can’t wait to see you in June, when you can relax and not be the promoter:-) love you Ana!!! VAGINA!!!
yvette says
Hilarious!
Angelina says
Awesome weekend .. I wish I could be there :3
Karen G. says
Congratulations on a successful event! It looks like you had a great time (besides all the work!) Thanks for the pictures, I would have loved to have been there but I would have been tongue tied too. haha
jodi marinich says
looked like everyone had a blast!!
Seth Sinclair says
Thanks for the giveaway!
Sue says
That looked like so much fun., Thanks for the giveaway.
Janice Unger says
Looks like you all had a wonderful time. Wish I could’ve been there. Thanks for the giveaway!
Mslovely Marcia says
Nice giveaway Thanks for the chance
Chanpreet says
Daaaang! it looks like y’all had a blast. Now I really wish I could’ve been there! Of course I might have been in the corner wide eyed in disbelief, but I know I would’ve had a blast!
Heather says
Thanks. Great giveaway!
Robin the Book Nerd says
wow that looks like so much fun. so sad I missed it!
Lola Figueroa says
That sounded like so much fun!!!!! I wanna go next time 🙂
jennifer beck says
looks like it was a lot of great fun and thanks for the chance.
Betul Erikci says
LOVE the photos, wish I would’ve been there! Awesome giveaway thank you!
Rita Luken says
Sounds like everyone had a blast! Great giveaway!
Heather says
Looks like tons of fun!
Jennifer Nava says
Looks like a wild good time
Jenn McElroy says
Looks like everyone had an awesome time! Thanks for the giveaway! 🙂
Diana Garey says
Looks like fun was had by all!!!
Wendy Dawn says
Thanks for the giveaway! I so wish I could have afforded to go!
Vanessa Foxford says
Looks like everyone had a very fun and wild time! Thanks for the giveaway!
Kathryn Laprade says
Looks like the event was a total blast, I hate that I missed it. Thanks for doing this great giveaway!!
Stella Melissa Johnson-Schwaab says
So jealous and anxiously awaiting the dates for the next one! Would so love to go to one of these events! Thank you for all you do, you f-ing ROCK!!!!!
Dana Fiore Stusse says
I’m guilty, BOOK ME now! LOL
Angie Griffith says
Thank you for giveaway
Melissa C. says
I’m so jealous of you right now. I hope you had enough fun for all of us.
Kim U says
It looks like it was such a blast, I wish I could have gone! Thanks for the giveaway!
Andie W says
Looks like you had a blast!
Yvonne C says
Looks crazy awesome!
Cassie says
Looks like you had a TON of FUN…….
Natasha says
Looks like so much fun!
Thanks for the chance to win!
Jennifer Frett says
I am so happy I went to the wicked book event. I met amazing authors, fun Blogger and most of all book addicts like me. I follow all your book recommendations and you have introduced me to books and authors I would have missed out on. It was great meeting all you fantastic ladies.
Erika says
Oh my god, so funny! Love the race video and the coloring book! Looks like everyone had a fantastic time! Thanks for the great giveaway and sharing your weekend!
sandy murphy says
looks like everyone had a great time, thanks for giveaway
Michelle Lee says
Love the pictures! Looks like everybody had an amazing time! Thank you for this awesome giveaway! 🙂
Brandy Gibson says
Good luck everyone.
Julie K says
Looks like so much fun!!
PAULA says
WOW! That was awesome. I mean, the picture says it all. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS. I wish I live in the US so I could attend even just one event. :(((( But I love seeing all these pictures. You guys had a great time and it feels like I was there too. 🙂
Rachel Hilliker says
Looks like you had tons of fun! Thanks for the giveaway.
Anna Kidd says
Thanks for the giveaway! I would of loved to of went, cause it looks like y’all had an amazing time! Maybe I’ll be able to go to the next one! 😉
Ricki says
Had another great time!! Just bummed we didn’t get to spend much time together! I love the shot of me looking like Katie Ashley’s bouncer as she called me!
Nancy VanSpunky says
I had such an amazing time! Especially without ALL of my (8) kids! I have new friends IRL, like Cheryl Nasca, Joanne Christensen, Kristin Owens. And I have new author friends like Ella Dominguez, Penny Reid (who I am totally fan girling over!), Dawn Robertson, etc. EPIC event! Thank you, Ana!
SARA MORRSISON says
Such an awesome giveaway!! Thanks for the chance! Glad to see you guys had a great time!
Laina G says
Looks like you had LOTS of fun! Wish I could have been there!! Thanks for the giveaway!
Jody says
Great giveaway!!
Dacia B says
Wish I could have came! I want that TBR list! 😉 thanks for the chance!
tami czenkus says
oh my god i need to make it to one of these crazy ass events of yours!!!
Kelly Scroggins says
Thanks for the giveaway!
ajw says
I’m so jealous!
Diana Doan says
So jealous I couldn’t attend the Wicked Book Weekend!! But thank you for bringing a piece of it back for us. 🙂
Pamela Price says
Looks like yall had a good time !!
Tatia White says
I will make it to this event one day. I’ll walk if I have to! Thank you for the giveaway!
Monica Goodrich says
Thanks for the giveaway!!
Christi says
Awesome giveaway. Thanks for the chance. Would love to attend an event like this one day!
Nasha L says
So much fun I wish I as there! awesome giveaway!!
Gaby says
LOL! Looks like y’all have a blast!
Gina H says
That looks like it was one hell of a party!! Thanks for the sharing the goodies!
miranda says
looks like it was one great weekend! lol I’m jealous for sure
Jennifer Jones says
Look like everyone had a great time !! thanks for the awesome giveaway!!
Bethany Macielag says
Thank you for the giveaway
Sammy's Book Obsession says
Thanks for the awesome giveaway!!