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The Girl In The Woods ad

Jell-O, Sex Toys, Vagibeer and Squirting: Wicked Girls Book Weekend 2013 Party Bus and beyond

02/21/2013

525132_543667522334176_1203903961_nThe signing was over and we only had an hour or so to get ready for the evening’s event: A party bus ride to Fairvilla Magastore (adult toys). We had always planned on going there for Seduction and Snacks night (based on Tara Sivec’s book, Seduction and Snacks) but when Cheryl Nasca, The party bus queen took over, we knew we were in for an adventure.

Of course, my group was the last to arrive at the bus, because we were standing outside freezing our asses off waiting for a shuttle to get to the meeting spot. When I got on the bus, the last seat available was next to Kerry, but it was already filled with little empty plastic cups. Apparently, the party had already started. The bus was filled with every type of jell-o shot ever invented, plus some amazing red-headed sluts, and pudding shots. OMG, these pudding shots were amazing, but a bus full of women licking cream out of a little cup on the way to a porn store was a little……aah who the heck cared! Luckily Cheryl had some chocolate covered strawberries and penises to fill us up, and Kim had her awesome pepperoni bread.

partybus

Just as things started to get a little crazy on the bus, we pull up to Fairvilla. Can you imagine if you were in a porn store and 55 women with cameras start walking in? Well the rapist guy in front was a bit mortified when I asked him to show us what was in his bag.

First thing Tara does is choose her necklace for the evening carefully:

IMG_0454

She picked the whore necklace

Then, as we wander around, I see Amber looking at the Ass Midget. Apparently she had forgotten the “Ass Raping Gnomes” in Tara’s books. At that point, the evening was done, I had already peed my pants. (But with Tara, I’m “Always” prepared.)

559998_543675935666668_321264686_n

Ass Raper

When Tara and I had a vibrator war, Tara won. It may not have been a race, but I think Tara O’d first.

599912_10200568023908298_1290145156_n

May the vibe be with you

If this fits anywhere in your body, you have a serious problem

If this fits anywhere in your body, you have a serious problem

Then somehow, I got this awesome Australian saleslady who kept touching me with vibes and ending up raping me for selling me $250 worth of sex toys! (Though my husband told me not to spend a lot, he was so happy when I did).

So we all boarded the bus to drive around for a while longer. Have I said there were HUNDREDS of Jell-o shots everywhere? Raine Miller, Katie Ashley and RK Lilley, sat up front with the calmer people…but everyone sang along here.

Then Tara spilled a little beer on her vag and needed to dry off

Then we are all going nuts in the back and suddenly the bus lurches over a curb and jerks to a stop. Apparently Katie, Raine and RK were having an adventure of their own up front. Let’s just say this:

Screen Shot 2013-02-21 at 4.38.46 PM

Throughout the evening Deseree, CC and Kerry were tweeting “overheard on the party bus” tweets.

“My Mouth tastes like I licked an asshole”

“I’m sticky! Why am I so sticky?”

“I am in love with that fucking penis”

“If you need to orgasm, you need to orgasm”

“My liver just got up, walked out, and said Fuck this shit”

“Holy fuck, I just peed a little”

“When you have the green goddess inside of you, you just eat it”

“You gotta put your finger in it”

“Dirty Whore, you put everything in your mouth”

“My vagina is wet and it smells like beer”

“I just pissed myself with beer”

Finally, the crazy bus ride pulled back to the hotel. We were hungry, and ready to go back to the room and continue the party. While Tara, Buffy, Dez, Trinity, Ricki and a few others went to citiwalk to make a tattoo appointment for Tara, we hung out in our room and talked about sex to Raine and Katie (OK, Katie-not so much, she is just so sweet!). We talked about orgasms, even squirting ones! Squirting Suzy demonstrated her favorite position and Raine, Scandal and Kim all watched a squirting O video on my bed (book research!)

When the rest of the gang came back and warmed up (it was freezing out), we started partying again…but then the evening began to wind down as a pregnant CC went to bed. Scandal turned in too….then I found the blow-up penis (yes, I gave it a blow-job!)

IMG_0352IMG_0359

Then, it’s about 4am, and we realized we had something to assrape Scandal with! So with some (very loud) whispering, we planned on sneaking in and violating her in her sleep, but our drunk asses were a bit too loud…..didn’t stop us though….

Popping Scandal's ass cherry

Popping Scandal’s ass cherry

IMG_0369

After sex cuddling

Finally in bed around 4 am, I went online and started reading the tweets from the evening and cracked up as Scandal slept (satisfied) next to me. (7 hours of sleep in 3 nights woohoo!)

Stay tuned for the last day’s events from Wicked Girl’s Book Weekend.

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Comments

  1. Bobbie says

    02/21/2013 at 7:59 pm

    Watching FB for all the hilarious fun I was missing cause I couldn’t be there!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:16 pm

      Next year!

      Reply
  2. Angie @ Smut Book Club says

    02/21/2013 at 8:07 pm

    Note to self: When you mount someone, namely Tara Sivec, on a sex chair and allow for your photo to be taken of said mounting, you will look approximately twice your size when your shirt falls down in front of you.

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:16 pm

      ANYONE looks huge next to tiny Tara

      Reply
  3. C.C. says

    02/21/2013 at 8:08 pm

    Desiree wasn’t the only posting on FB and Twitter that night. If you want the real story (after all, I’m the only one who was not drinking since I’m preggers), go to @cc_wood on Twitter or my FB page. 😉

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:17 pm

      I changed it you pregnant whore–I didn’t even know about you!

      Reply
  4. Debra Anastasia says

    02/21/2013 at 8:10 pm

    This looks so awesome!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:17 pm

      You have to come next year!!!!

      Reply
  5. Jennifer says

    02/21/2013 at 8:10 pm

    You ladies sure know how to have a good time! My favorite was the “overheard on the party bus” tweets. Hilarious!!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:18 pm

      That was just a sample….there will be tons more tomorrow.

      Reply
  6. Bella says

    02/21/2013 at 8:13 pm

    The party bus!!! Sitting in the back with all of the glorious mischievousness!! BAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:18 pm

      Crazy nuts in the back.

      Reply
  7. Ricki says

    02/21/2013 at 8:13 pm

    You forgot our viewing of the greatest movie of all time: Magic Mike!!!!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:18 pm

      Wasn’t even worth discussing.

      Reply
  8. Natascha vO says

    02/21/2013 at 8:35 pm

    OMG Ha-larious! The tweets are fantastic!

    Reply
  9. Kerry G says

    02/21/2013 at 8:36 pm

    Best weekend ever! I so have to work on the Overheard Book!

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 8:46 pm

      do it before you can’t find them!

      Reply
  10. Michelle Graves says

    02/21/2013 at 9:10 pm

    Looks like the Weekend was a Success

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 10:29 pm

      It was, I hope you join us next year!

      Reply
  11. Danielle Grater says

    02/21/2013 at 9:24 pm

    That looks like one heck of a time! I never would of thought to take a party bus full of women to a “toy store” what a fantastic idea! Looks like everyone had a grand time!

    Reply
  12. Amber L says

    02/21/2013 at 9:26 pm

    Looks like u had alot of laughs

    Reply
    • Ana's Attic says

      02/21/2013 at 10:30 pm

      You have no idea, my ribs and stomach muscles still hurt.

      Reply
      • Amber L says

        02/25/2013 at 12:26 am

        Lol

        Reply
  13. nicki says

    02/21/2013 at 9:37 pm

    the bus conversation sounds hilarious, but I love scandal alot too and her ass cherry popping was really funny too

    Reply
    • Scandal says

      02/21/2013 at 10:14 pm

      Nicki, I think I might be the only person who’s had her ass cherry popped while laughing hysterically sans lube!

      Reply
  14. Vickie Milizia says

    02/21/2013 at 9:38 pm

    I loved reading about your adventure! My favorite part was the war w/ vibrators, hilarious!
    And Tara is a wild hold and a lot o fun!

    Reply
  15. Lisa w says

    02/21/2013 at 9:48 pm

    Love it!! Sounds like a blast!
    modularmates(at)comcast(dot)net

    Reply
  16. Denise says

    02/21/2013 at 9:50 pm

    sorry i missed it

    Reply
  17. Amber S says

    02/21/2013 at 10:29 pm

    Love all the “overheard on the party bus” tweets! Too funny!

    Reply
  18. joanne christenson says

    02/21/2013 at 10:41 pm

    My favorite part was when Anna showed Tara the ass raping gnome. So. Much. Fun.

    Reply
  19. Rebecca Kennedy says

    02/21/2013 at 10:53 pm

    I am so sad I missed out! It really sucks having kids sometimes. My mom and sister went, but my kids had a dance competition. I had my sister give me all the dirty deets today.

    Reply
  20. Amber Detjens says

    02/21/2013 at 11:10 pm

    Next bus my ass is in the back of the bus. What’s funny is I walked back there but came back to the front. :/ With just getting over being sick I didn’t know if I could handle the back of the bus. Sadly. BUT I will be there next time with my camera!

    Reply
  21. stephanie vincent says

    02/22/2013 at 9:33 am

    The whole weekend looked like a blast! Nice visual with the dildo sword fighting! : )

    Reply
  22. Dana says

    02/22/2013 at 2:20 pm

    I would say I would have love to see the look on the rapist face when you ladies arrived at the porno shop – PRICELESS!!

    Reply
  23. Cassandra Hicks says

    02/22/2013 at 3:39 pm

    How can I pick just one? My first thought when I saw the gnome was Drew’s Ass Raping Gnome theory and starting laughing but I loved when Tara got stuck between the seats haha
    Thanks for the awesome giveaways and the hilarious recaps

    Reply
  24. June M. says

    02/22/2013 at 8:12 pm

    I can’t decide whether I liked the tweets the best or just the picture of the ginormous vibrator/dildo! That thing would have to kill a person!

    Reply
  25. Stephanie says

    02/22/2013 at 8:35 pm

    The ass raping midget!! When i saw Tara put that on FB I lost it, I was laughing so hard I was crying. Jealous of all the fun yall had!!

    Reply
  26. JoAnna B says

    02/22/2013 at 9:13 pm

    Sounds like a lot of fun! $250 worth of toys. That’s not that bad!

    Reply
  27. Shelly Ford says

    02/22/2013 at 9:41 pm

    Favorite part?! Are you serious? It was all fucking hilarious! How can you choose?

    Reply
  28. Danielle says

    02/22/2013 at 9:47 pm

    OMG!!!!! The overheard on the party bus tweets are absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

    Reply
  29. Becky K. says

    02/22/2013 at 10:01 pm

    Love the “overheard on the bus” tweets, lol 🙂

    Reply
  30. Yesenia says

    02/22/2013 at 11:07 pm

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

    Reply
  31. Noemi says

    02/23/2013 at 3:46 pm

    OMG I wish I had been there. Now I’m wondering what will happen in Vegas O.O

    Reply
  32. Sue says

    02/23/2013 at 6:01 pm

    The bus tweets were too funny. That great american challenge dildo scares the hell out of me, but the rest of the store looked pretty cool.

    Reply
  33. Kay H. says

    02/23/2013 at 8:13 pm

    I’m jealous! I wish I had been there………… Maybe next time.

    Reply
  34. Alyssa says

    02/23/2013 at 11:20 pm

    the vibrator war! lol.
    wish i could’ve made it.. so lucky!

    Reply
  35. Karen says

    02/24/2013 at 10:47 am

    How much fun you all had!

    Reply
  36. Jessica says

    02/24/2013 at 6:26 pm

    The party bus tweets are the best! I’m sure anyone overhearing those would raise eyebrows.

    Reply
  37. Heather @ Red Headed Bookworm says

    02/24/2013 at 11:25 pm

    I would have loved to have been in the “toy” store with you guys. I can only imagine!

    Reply

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