Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by Messie Condo
I’m kind of a hoarder. You wouldn’t know it from walking in my house, but look in my garage or my closets and you’ll know. I love to shop and buy stupid stuff online in the middle of the night. I have closets so full I don’t even use them anymore. I’ve watched Marie Kondo’s show and her sweet nature didn’t really work for me. Also, dumping all my shit in a pile is a recipe for disaster with me. Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by ‘Messie Condo’ is exactly what I need in my life. In fact, I wish she’d move in with me and kick my ass all the time because I’d probably lose weight with her no-bullshit approach as well.
It’s like she lives in my house and knows all my quirks! Over the years when cabinets or closets get too full, I take it all, dump it in a bin, and put it in the garage. Then when the garage got full, we rented a storage unit. We paid $250 a month to literally store GARBAGE.
“If you’re willing to store something several miles away from you, I’m willing to bet you don’t fucking need it in your life.”
My ex-husband was even worse than me. He seems so organized and neat but it’s because he hides his piles of crap in bins, never to be seen again.
“Dumping everything in bins won’t help.”
She’s seen my garage. She knows me. It’s creepy.
“The only “right” way to organize your shit is just to start organizing your shit.”
I look around and I’m so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start. Messie Condo gives me the swift kick in the ass I need. She calls me out on my bullshit in a language I can relate to: a LOT of ‘fucks’ and ‘shits’.
How many of us have a bin of old cords you “might” need one day? Then when you need a cord, you pop on Amazon and buy a new one? I mean who needs to plow through the bin, untangle all the cords just to see it’s broken or the wrong one? For $6 I can get one tomorrow from Amazon. The time it took me to find and go through that bin is worth more than $6!
It’s the guilt. Being Jewish doesn’t help with the guilt of wasting stuff! Well, Messie covers that too. Donating alleviates guilt, and if your stuff is so crappy it’s not good enough to donate, well….
“Ask yourself three questions: Do I like it? Do I need it? Can I buy a new one if I need to?”
I mean really, what is making me keep that hamburger meat chopper I bought that gets stuck in the drawer all the time and never worked the way it was supposed to? A spatula does just as good of a job. What about all those nice size 12 outfits still in my closet? I haven’t been a size 12 in twelve years. If I ever get that skinny again, I’ll want to celebrate with new clothes!
“Save the sentimental shit for later”
I have bins of schoolwork from my kids. Like 1 bin per grade! It’s ridiculous. I have the program for every single show they’ve been in. With two musician kids, that is a LOT of shows. I will be spending a while doing that, but I will also enjoy the walk back along memory lane.
“A book collection isn’t a resume it’s a love letter.”
OK, maybe the book stuff didn’t really work for me. She says books aren’t trophies, but since she doesn’t talk about SIGNED books (which all of mine are), I’ll ignore the books part, because they kind of are trophies to me!
How often do you say “But I might need it someday”?
“How many fucking pens do you need?”
Aw shit….now she really got me. When she said that line, I heard that horror film music in my head and saw a camera zooming into all my pen hoarding spots around my house. She’s here…she’s watching me.
I can go on and on, but then you’d be missing out on a hysterical journey. I want to buy the hardcover so badly but it goes against all the clutter rules!
- It gave very practical advice on organizing while making me laugh.
- She had a no-nonsense ass-kicking approach that totally worked for me.
- She had a checklist at the end of every chapter.
- It felt like she was in my house and knew me!
- I loved it all! If you don’t like foul language though, this book is not for you.
Natalie Naudus was fabulous as our foul-mouthed guide to cleaning our shit up. I think she made it funnier than just reading it, she had great timing.
The Down & Dirty:
Rating: 5 Stars, 5 Narration