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Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by Messie Condo

09/09/2020

Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by Messie Condo

Parody/Self-Help

I’m kind of a hoarder. You wouldn’t know it from walking in my house, but look in my garage or my closets and you’ll know. I love to shop and buy stupid stuff online in the middle of the night. I have closets so full I don’t even use them anymore. I’ve watched Marie Kondo’s show and her sweet nature didn’t really work for me. Also, dumping all my shit in a pile is a recipe for disaster with me. Ā Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by ā€˜Messie Condo’ is exactly what I need in my life. In fact, I wish she’d move in with me and kick my ass all the time because I’d probably lose weight with her no-bullshit approach as well.

It’s like she lives in my house and knows all my quirks! Over the years when cabinets or closets get too full, I take it all, dump it in a bin, and put it in the garage. Then when the garage got full, we rented a storage unit. We paid $250 a month to literally store GARBAGE.

ā€œIf you’re willing to store something several miles away from you, I’m willing to bet you don’t fucking need it in your life.ā€

My ex-husband was even worse than me. He seems so organized and neat but it’s because he hides his piles of crap in bins, never to be seen again.

ā€œDumping everything in bins won’t help.ā€

She’s seen my garage. She knows me. It’s creepy.

ā€œThe only ā€œrightā€ way to organize your shit is just to start organizing your shit.ā€

I look around and I’m so overwhelmed that I don’t know where to start. Messie Condo gives me the swift kick in the ass I need. She calls me out on my bullshit in a language I can relate to: a LOT of ā€˜fucks’ and ā€˜shits’.

How many of us have a bin of old cords you ā€œmightā€ need one day? Then when you need a cord, you pop on Amazon and buy a new one? I mean who needs to plow through the bin, untangle all the cords just to see it’s broken or the wrong one? For $6 I can get one tomorrow from Amazon. The time it took me to find and go through that bin is worth more than $6!

It’s the guilt. Being Jewish doesn’t help with the guilt of wasting stuff! Well, Messie covers that too. Donating alleviates guilt, and if your stuff is so crappy it’s not good enough to donate, well….

ā€œAsk yourself three questions: Do I like it? Do I need it? Can I buy a new one if I need to?ā€

I mean really, what is making me keep that hamburger meat chopper I bought that gets stuck in the drawer all the time and never worked the way it was supposed to? A spatula does just as good of a job. What about all those nice size 12 outfits still in my closet? I haven’t been a size 12 in twelve years. If I ever get that skinny again, I’ll want to celebrate with new clothes!

ā€œSave the sentimental shit for laterā€

I have bins of schoolwork from my kids. Like 1 bin per grade! It’s ridiculous. I have the program for every single show they’ve been in. With two musician kids, that is a LOT of shows. I will be spending a while doing that, but I will also enjoy the walk back along memory lane.

ā€œA book collection isn’t a resume it’s a love letter.ā€

OK, maybe the book stuff didn’t really work for me. She says books aren’t trophies, but since she doesn’t talk about SIGNED books (which all of mine are), I’ll ignore the books part, because they kind of are trophies to me!

How often do you say “But I might need it someday”?

ā€œHow many fucking pens do you need?ā€

Aw shit….now she really got me. When she said that line, I heard that horror film music in my head and saw a camera zooming into all my pen hoarding spots around my house. She’s here…she’s watching me.

I can go on and on, but then you’d be missing out on a hysterical journey. I want to buy the hardcover so badly but it goes against all the clutter rules!

Likes:

  • It gave very practical advice on organizing while making me laugh.
  • She had a no-nonsense ass-kicking approach that totally worked for me.
  • She had a checklist at the end of every chapter.
  • It felt like she was in my house and knew me!

Dislikes:

  • I loved it all! If you don’t like foul language though, this book is not for you.

The Narration:

Natalie Naudus was fabulous as our foul-mouthed guide to cleaning our shit up. I think she made it funnier than just reading it, she had great timing.

The Down & Dirty:

I listened to Tidy The F*ck Up and immediately got the book. Whenever I see my house start to get out of control, I’m coming back to it! This was the first organizing book I have read that actually spoke to me because it spoke my language. A few of my friends have already thanked me for the recommendation, and I will absolutely listen to this again for motivation and plain old fun. I wish she’d write a weight loss book now, maybe she’d be the one to motivate me there too. While Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t is marketed as a parody of Marie Kondo’s book, it’s chock-full of down-to-earth, practical advice for hot messes like myself.

Rating:Ā 5 Stars, 5 Narration

PurchaseĀ Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t by Messie Condo

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I really wanted to love this! I never wanted to pu I really wanted to love this! I never wanted to put it down and DNF, but it still never felt believable to me, so I can’t fully recommend it. But check it out yourself. Both the book and audiobook are in Kindle Unlimited. 
šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/the-one-who-loves-you-pippa-grant/
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Both the book and audiobook are FREE in KU or the audiobook is only a $1.99 upgrade if you aren’t in KU. 
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šŸ“±Read it: https://amzn.to/3I2gYJQ
šŸ“– Hardcover: https://amzn.to/3pwJ0qJ
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šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/fourth-wing-rebecca-yarros/

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I love books that take place in the book world! Th I love books that take place in the book world! That’s only one of the reasons I loved My So Called Sex Life by @laurenblakelybooks so much. 

šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/my-so-called-sex-life-lauren-blakely/
šŸ“šRead it: https://amzn.to/41Q7hWx
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šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/echoes-of-you/
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šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/the-long-way-home-harper-sloan/
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I have gotten SO MANY messages thanking me for recommending my FAVORITE BOOK/AUDIOBOOK of 2022! Mary Jane by @jessicaanyablau was so amazing, especially in audio. This coming-of-age novel set in 1975 was different than what I usually read, and I so enjoyed seeing the 14-year-old sheltered heroine see what life is like nannying for a progressive family who happens to be hiding a rock star for the summer.

Mary Jane is the perfect summer read, especially if you grew up during this time, and the narration by @caitlin.kinnunen was absolutely outstanding.

I couldn’t recommend it more.

Thank you Jessica for this version of the book! I love it! 

šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/mary-jane-by-jessica-anya-blau/
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I couldn’t stop listening to The Perfect Marriag I couldn’t stop listening to The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose. The storytelling and narration kept me riveted despite all the ridiculous plot holes. I had such a hard time giving this a star rating because I really enjoyed the listen even though the story truly made no sense and could never even come close to happening in real life. Still, I will for sure be checking out more of Jeneva Rose’s books after reading this and watching her hysterical TikToks.
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šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/the-perfect-marriage-jeneva-rose/
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Once again @meghanquinnbooks has me giggling like Once again @meghanquinnbooks has me giggling like a lunatic. I’m out walking my dog listening with my airpods in, but my hair covers them. I was getting some weird looks when I started cracking up! 
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I love books that take place in the book world! Th I love books that take place in the book world! That’s one of the reasons I loved My So Called Sex Life by Lauren Blakely so much. 

šŸ’»My review: https://anasattic.com/my-so-called-sex-life-lauren-blakely/
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