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So You Want Him to Spank You?-Getting your man to have Fifty Shades of Fun

07/10/2012

For years, I fantasized about a little spanking. But I always felt like it would ruin the whole thing if I had to ask. I would lose the breathless shock of being spanked. My husband knew I liked it and did it lightly once in a while, but didn’t quite realize how much, as well as how much I like that and other ‘kinky fuckery”. (I didn’t really realize until I started reading more) I wanted HIM to push me to do more, I didn’t want to tell him, because again, that ruins it, I want HIM to take control. Reading all of these erotic books has finally made me speak up more, and believe me, my husband is totally stepping up, and enjoying every second.

Maybe you haven’t even talked about any of your fantasies with your lover. Many of my friends never have. It’s time!!!! Right now, Fifty Shades of Grey is in the news every day. Use it as a starting point of a conversation. Tell him what parts turned you on. Whatever you do, don’t say “I wish you were more like Christian Grey”, and don’t bring it up during the act. Try for a nice romantic evening. Ask him his fantasy first. Tell him you will make it come true, then do it! (It’ll be your turn next). I know how hard it is to talk about, but would you rather fantasize or do?

If you can’t find a way to start the conversation try this: If you read on your iPhone or iPad, take a screen shot (press the home button and the button on top together) of a page that really turned you on, and text that photo to your man while he’s at work (beware if you have photo stream set up), or take a photo of a page of the book. Send it with a text that says “reading this is making me wet”, or “OMG, this sounds so hot!”.

I must tell you, Fifty Shades of Grey is actually not a great example of a BDSM book. In fact, in some ways it is dangerous and gives out wrong information on safe, sane and consensual BDSM relationships. But I applaud the book for waking up our libidos and our fantasies. See My Favorite Dom/Sub or BDSM Romance Books for others.

Communication is so, so important in any relationship, and beginning a Dom/sub relationship (even just for bedroom play) needs to be discussed. Tell him you’d love to try getting tied up. Better yet, send him my post for beginner Doms: Beginning BDSM & Spanking 101: Make her Fifty Shades of Grey Fantasy Come True (click on post title to get it in its own window to e-mail).

Remember ladies, the appeal of the Dominant man is that he takes all the control and decisions from you, so if you are barking out orders like “spank me harder”, or “don’t do that, do it like Christian”, that isn’t going to work for either of you. Keep in mind, your partner is NOT Christian Grey. He very likely has not read the book, and he isn’t a mind reader. Talk about what worked and didn’t after the scene, don’t bark orders during. In the meantime, check out the post on beginning Domination for men.

One other suggestion: buy some toys and bondage gear and give it to your lover. That’s one way to start a conversation! I have hand-picked items (from Amazon) that were featured in Fifty Shades of Grey, plus I added more. There are lots of categories to choose from. Visit the Red Room of Pain/Erotic Playroom in the Ana’s Attic main site for my selection, or visit Amazon’s new “shades” shop here.

Here are also some famous books dealing with BDSM:

  • Screw the Roses Send Me The Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devlin
  • SM 101- A realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
  • The New Bottoming Book– by Dossie Easton
Related Posts:
  • Beginning BDSM & Spanking 101: Make HER Fifty Shades of Grey Fantasy Come True
  • All I Can Say Is WOW

 

Related posts:

  • Much Ado About You by Samantha Young | Audiobook ReviewMuch Ado About You by Samantha Young | Audiobook Review
  • April 2022 Book ReleasesApril 2022 Release and Review Recap
  • New Kindle and Audiobook Releases, Sales and Freebies | April 2022New Kindle and Audiobook Releases, Sales and Freebies | April 2022
  • February 2022 Release RecapFebruary 2022 Release Recap
  • New Kindle and Audiobook Releases, Sales and Freebies | March 2022New Kindle and Audiobook Releases, Sales and Freebies | March 2022
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Comments

  1. Lisa w says

    07/11/2012 at 10:26 am

    Thanks Ana, Great blog. After trust, the hardest part is being that open and honest to let him know what you want!

    Reply
    • anasdiary says

      07/11/2012 at 10:58 am

      I agree. Especially when what you want is for him to KNOW what you want! LOL. That’s why I created the other post. All you have to do is click send 🙂

      Reply
  2. Anais says

    09/19/2012 at 7:10 pm

    I absolutely love this post! I usually email links to toys that intrigue me.. My man normally teases me about it, but it seems like he makes mental note of my email ! 😉

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Original Sinners by Tiffany Reisz Reading Order | Ana's Diary (part of anasattic.com) says:
    09/25/2012 at 1:29 pm

    […] So You Want Him To Spank You? How To Get Your Man To Have Fifty Shades of Fun This entry was posted in All About Books, BDSM Romance, Series Reading Orders, Short Stories/Novellas, Tiffany Reisz and tagged BDSM, Fifty, HOT, Kinky, Novella, Series by anasdiary. Bookmark the permalink. […]

    Reply

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Ana’s Attic Book and Audiobook Blog was established in 2012.

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Ana's Attic Book Blog
When I was 37, my 7 year old begged me daily for a When I was 37, my 7 year old begged me daily for a little brother (or sister). We obliged, but because of my age and I had lupus, the pregnancy was high-risk. At 17 weeks I had an amniocentesis. 2 weeks later we got the devastating news that our baby, the sibling my son was begging for, had some major genetic abnormalities, plus heart problems. If she survived the birth she would need multiple surgeries & would likely never leave the hospital. 

We made the most devastating decision to end the pregnancy. The baby we made FOR my son would just devastate him. It would take me away from him. He would watch her suffer and be in pain. And how would we pay for it all?

Four months after, I became pregnant again with my wonderful son who is now 16.  Despite 8 years difference, he and his brother are best friends. They have both had a great life with a mom who was fully present for both of them.

I thank Roe v Wade every day that I was able to make that CHOICE. It was the most devastating, horrible decision we ever had to make. But it was the RIGHT CHOICE, both for that baby & my family. Plus, my son wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t made that CHOICE. These decisions are NEVER easy. They are deeply personal and usually devastating. 

Until the government can pay to keep all these babies fed, clothed and homed. Until they can pay for medical bills and the parents to leave work, until they can provide for the needs of the babies women are forced to have, they need to stay out of our bodies. I’m scared for the future of all of our rights.

@pocketsized_pageturner will donate $1 to @brigidalliance (provides travel assistance to those seeking abortions), $1 to @wrrapreprojustice (volunteer organization rasing money to help low income individuals access abortions and emergency contraceptives), and $`1 to @nationalabortionfederation (helping those in the US and Canada gain access to abortions through financial and travel assistance with a multilingual hotline) for every pink stack posted by May 31 with the #stackforreproductiverights. ⁣
⁣
#bookstack #bookstacks #pinkstack #bookstackforacause #pinkbooks #bookstackchallenge #prochoice
I love reading about older couples! Flirting with I love reading about older couples! Flirting with Fifty by Jane Porter could have been a little more exciting, but I still enjoyed the read, and can recommend this to any women looking for older couples in their romances.

💻My ARC review: https://anasattic.com/flirting-with-fifty/
📚Pre-order Book: https://amzn.to/3wxqxeN
🎧Pre-order audiobook: https://amzn.to/3yGbosZ

#Bookreview #Janeporter #arcreview #netgalley #preorder #oldercouple #midliferomance #midlifereads #romancereads #maybookreleases
“It’s called hot flashes, Dean. Don’t judge “It’s called hot flashes, Dean. Don’t judge me.” 
“Oh, I’ll give you hot flashes.”

Nobody else but Tara Sivec can make me literally laugh out loud and bawl my eyes out at the same time. I look for books with older couples, so I’ve read a good number of them, but this portrayal actually felt the most real of any to me.
With This Flirt by @authortarasivec is my first 5++ star book of 2022!

Kindle: https://amzn.to/389abiH
My Review: https://anasattic.com/with-this-fling-tara-sivec/

#bookstagram #bookreview #tarasivec #5stars #romanticcomedy #romancereads #arcreview  #favoriteauthor #oldercouple #midlifelove #bookquote #bookstagrammer #romancebookstagram #laughoutloud #bookrecommendations
When the author of your all-time favorite series r When the author of your all-time favorite series releases the first book from the male POV, you run to read it and hope it doesn’t ruin it for you. I’m happy to say @jfrostauthor just made me love Cat and Bones more. 

If you are a fan of Cat and Bones, or you just want to start a new series, I 100% recommend The Other Half of the Grave by Jeaniene Frost.

💻My review: https://anasattic.com/the-other-half-of-the-grave/
📚Read it: https://amzn.to/3LfLOys
🎧Listen: https://amzn.to/3kc3qiF
—
#paranormalromance #pnr #romancereads #newrelease #arcreview #bookreview #favoriteseries #catandbones #vampires #jeanienefrost #nighthuntress #booklover #kindle #audible #5stars
The last day of @passion.con made me sad! I wish w The last day of @passion.con made me sad! I wish we had another day, but we got to see seals!  I can’t wait for next year. 
-
#passioncon #passionista #passionistaparadise @toscamusk @passionflix @melaniezanetti #bookboyfriends
Saturday night fun at @passion.con - they did our Saturday night fun at @passion.con - they did our hair and makeup and we had a fabulous night! @toscamusk, the whole @passionflix team plus all the actors and authors were amazing! I can’t wait to come back next year. 
—
#passionflix #passioncon #passionflixoriginal #formaldresses #fancyfun #besttime
Some photos from Saturday at @passion.con we had a Some photos from Saturday at @passion.con we had a blast doing a scavenger hunt, had a fabulous breakfast and lunch, plus author and actor panels, and we got our hair and makeup done for the evening festivities. #passioncon #passionflix @passionflix @kristenproby @thereallaurelinpaige @authoremmachase @oliviaapplegate @jodi_ellen_malpas @melagreenh
Live at the @passion.con @passionflix lead actor p Live at the @passion.con @passionflix lead actor panel.

#passionflix #bookstomovies #romancenovels #romancemovies #romancelandia #girlsweekend
Day One of @passion.con was AMAZING!!! @passionfli Day One of @passion.con was AMAZING!!! @passionflix is really making this all inclusive weekend so special! Some of these photos include @chrislmckenna from The Will, @toscamusk @mayemusk @melagreenh and @ashleydulaney from Seduction and Snacks, @kbromberg the cast of Driven, and my custom PJs for the pajama party 🤪
#passioncon #passionflix
It was SO GREAT going back to Kristen Ashley’s F It was SO GREAT going back to Kristen Ashley’s Fantasyland world again! I tried to read as slow as possible because I just didn’t want to leave. Though the whole Fantasyland series is best read in order, Gossamer in the Darkness easily stands alone. You don’t have to like fantasy or regency to love this, you just have to love romance. I am so happy to have this as a new addition to one of my favorite series, and now I may have to go and listen to the entire series again.

💻My review: https://anasattic.com/gossamer-in-the-darkness/
📚Read it: https://amzn.to/3LREzx2
🎧Listen: https://amzn.to/3FivudP

—
@kristenashleybooks 
#bookreview #kristenashley #romancereads #fantasyromance #romancenovels #bookquote #1001darknights #favoriteauthor #booklover #romancereader #bookstagram #bookish #favoritebooks
“Sometimes, things need to break to be put toget “Sometimes, things need to break to be put together right.”

@catherinecowlesauthor has a way of blending steamy romance, angst, suspense, family, found family, friendship, kids, and a whodunnit into something completely unique and special. Falling Embers may be my favorite yet.

—>Check out my review: https://anasattic.com/falling-embers/
📚Read it: https://amzn.to/3vsTB53
🎧Listen: https://amzn.to/3JMXB5P (Joe Arden and Vanessa Edwin were fabulous!)
—
#bookreview #audiobookreview #catherinecowles #bookstagram #audiobookstagram #audible #audiblebooks #newrelease #romanticsuspense #romancereads #bookrecommendations #recommendedreading #Kindle #audibleromance #booklover #bookish #favoritebooks
We had some great book and audiobook releases last We had some great book and audiobook releases last month! I have them all listed in one place (hundreds!), as well as a recap list of all of my reviews —> https://anasattic.com/april-2022-recap/

#bookreleases #audiobookreleases #bookreviews #audiobookreviews #romancebooks #romancebookreleases #romancereads #kindle #audible #audibleromance #aprilbooks #aprilrecap
I had no idea how much better it would be! The new I had no idea how much better it would be! The new Kindle Paperwhite is currently on sale for 25% off. If you have a trade-in you get another 20% off plus the value of the trade-in. The new Kindle Paperwhite ended up costing me $59. And it is SO WORTH IT. The screen is WAY bigger, it’s super fast, and the new light really still keeps the pages looking like e-ink with the adjustable warmth.

• https://amzn.to/3LBw2hs •

I will need it for the 6 hour flight to LA for @passion.con  this week!

* Both of these are the same settings for font, size, spacing and brightness.

Book: By Any Other Name by @laurenkatebooks 

#books #kindle #kindlepaperwhite #affiliate #ad #biggerisbetter
The Ravenhood Trilogy by Kate Stewart has a HUGE n The Ravenhood Trilogy by Kate Stewart has a HUGE number of people who are OBSESSED with it. I love Kate Stewart and needed to see what all the hype was about despite it being a long commitment (40+ Hours). In the end, it just wasn’t for me. It was too toxic and I never fell in love with and rooted for the MCs. Maybe I’m just too old? I wanted so much to love this! As much as I hate to sometimes, I review every book I read or listen to.

My Review: https://anasattic.com/the-ravenhood-trilogy/

The Ravenhood Trilogy: https://amzn.to/3vkCNyD
—
#bookreview #audiobookreview #honestbookreview #romancebookstagram #booktrilogy #booktok #unpopularopinion
The Other Half of the Grave by @jfrostauthor was e The Other Half of the Grave by @jfrostauthor was everything I could have dreamed of. I was nervous, because I’ve read a few other books that totally changed my opinion of the hero after reading their pov (and not in a good way). I was glad I went into this without a recent re-read of Halfway to the Grave (until after) because I wasn’t comparing the two, and The Other Half of the Grave felt fresh and new. 

I loved reading this almost as much as I loved reading the first book so many years ago, and that’s saying a lot, because I have read thousands of books since, and it still remains a favorite. If you are a fan of Cat and Bones, or you just want to start a new series, I 100% recommend The Other Half of the Grave by Jeaniene Frost.

💻My review: https://anasattic.com/the-other-half-of-the-grave/
📚Read it: https://amzn.to/3LfLOys
🎧Listen: https://amzn.to/3kc3qiF
—
#paranormalromance #pnr #romancereads #newrelease #arcreview #bookreview #favoriteseries #catandbones #vampires #jeanienefrost #nighthuntress #booklover #kindle #audible #5stars
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