Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia
1st in the Gynazule® Series. Can’t really stand alone.
For a while, I thought I was being punked. I honestly thought that this might be a social experiment. Like Debra wrote the shittiest, most stupid book possible just to see if her fans would say they like it anyway, because they’re her fans. But then I realized I was giggling. And totally relating to Dove, the heroine.
This girl invented Murphy’s Law, everything that could happen to her does, from public vaginal infections to sharting in her pants, it ALL happens in Fire Down Below. The characters feature Dove, and her apartment building filled with the wackiest group of tenants ever, including the cat-stealing, totally in love with herself, very strange, very slutty Debra Anastasia, as well as the crudest guy you’ll ever meet, Duke (who rarely closes his door or wears pants). Duke is a ‘pull my finger’ type of guy x 10, who totally grew on me throughout the book.
Like a car crash you can’t look away from, or can’t stop rehashing, Fire Down Below (Gynazule 1) is completely and unapologetically over the top, and filled with so much potty humor that I had to read some parts out loud to my boys. I must admit, I sometimes laughed more that Debra went that far than I did for the story, but that’s part of the appeal.
The story begins with Dove getting a vaginal prescription filled. Dove is embarrassed enough, but there is a new pharmacist that day. “Mr. Gorgeous McLoudypants” needed to make sure that Dove knew the ‘Ins & Outs’ (see what I did there?) of using the vaginal cream, and of course decided to describe it LOUDLY for the whole store to hear. Dove’s reaction:
“I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas.”
But Dove is totally attracted to the bumbling new pharmacist, and I must say, I really enjoyed him too. Johnson Fitzwell was adorably awkward. Not only was Dove running into Murphy’s Law, but Fitzwell was too. The first time they are together alone, they are subjected to:
The tender new feelings between Dove and this handsome mad were now spoiled with the obscene visual of the hairy rodents humping.”
“I sharted when he scared me. Oh my God. Kill Me.”
I loved the awkward couple of Dove and Johnson. But then there was Duke, the pants-shunning pull-my-finger type neighbor who had gay porn burned into his TV. As completely obnoxious as he is, he was kind of sweet and funny at the same time. I mean the man did deep-knee bends to cut down resistance and decrease shit-taking time.
“My sac is like a set of fresh mozzarella balls!” He tossed the lotion at her, and Dove quickly caught the tube.
“Seriously, bitch, don’t make a man face a jungle. It’s 2015 after all.”
I must say, I spent a lot of the book thinking this:
And a lot of the book like this:
And even more like this:
And then Debra ended with a bit of a cliffy, so I was with Steve the cat, when I say:
(in the nicest way possible).
“Your dick’s out again.”
“It was air drying. You need to let a dick breathe. Underwear is jail.”
- I really enjoyed the cast of crazy characters.
- Johnson was so sweet, you gotta love him.
- A sweet, bumbling love story.
- I giggled a lot and laughed out loud quite a few times.
- I felt myself blushing with embarrassment for Dove.
- Good combination of 12 year old boy humor and romance.
- Very strong 3rd person, kept me a bit too detached.
Rating: 4.25 for story, 3.5 for heat
The Down and Dirty:
PS: The related contents suggestions while I write this review are making me giggle too!
Purchase Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia