Autoboyography by Christina Lauren
Narrated by Deacon Lee & Kyle Mason
Standalone YA m/m Romance
Autobiography by Christina Lauren is not normally a book I would pick up. But I was sent this absolutely gorgeous hardcover, and I try to read the books that are going on my shelf. I realize now that I never even read the blurb, just fell for the cover. I couldn’t fit it in my reading schedule, but I had a credit on audible so I grabbed it there, not even knowing that it was YA. But being in a bit of a slump, I was looking for something different, and Autobiography totally fit the bill and lived up to the gorgeous cover.
“I’m just a bisexual half-Jewish kid who’s falling in love with an LDS guy. The path for me isn’t as clear.”
I love Tanner and his family so much. They moved from California to Provo, Utah when Tanner was 15. Tanner is bisexual and half Jewish, and Provo is a predominantly Mormon (LDS) town. His mom is an ex-Mormon and understands how it all works, and both of his parents are very accepting of Tanner.
“I forget not everyone lives in a household where a parent sleeps in a MY QUEER KID RULES nightgown.”
But they still encourage him to keep his sexuality a secret because in that town, they know he would have problems. He couldn’t even share it with his best friend, Autumn. When Tanner takes a writing seminar his senior year, they are expected to write a novel, and the teacher brought in his most prominent student from the previous year to help out, Sebastian Brother. Sebastian’s book was already published, and he is now a student at a Mormon University. He is following his expected path as a son of a Mormon bishop, and going on his mission as soon as he returns from his book tour. Sebastian loves his religion and is devoted to the church.
When Tanner sees Sebastian in the class, his reaction is all-consuming and immediate. He has no idea if Sebastian is straight or gay, but there is a spark, an immediate connection.
“Kissing boys feels good. Kissing girls feels good. But something tells me kissing Sebastian would be like a sparkler falling in the middle of a field of dry grass.”
As Sebastian is supposed to be helping Tanner with the book, they are really getting closer and realizing that they are falling in love. In fact, Tanner’s book is all about how he was falling for Sebastian. Changing the names didn’t hide a thing.
“He wants to read my book, the book about falling in love with him. But how can I send my heart to him when he’s just said, in no uncertain terms, that he doesn’t speak its language?”
Sebastian loves his church. But being gay is not yet accepted. You are allowed to have feelings for the same sex, but you are never allowed to act on it.
“But we’ve both been raised to care greatly what our family thinks about us— their esteem is everything. On top of that, Sebastian has the looming judgment of the Church, telling him wherever he looks that the God he loves thinks he’s a pretty foul human being. It’s impossible to know how to undo the damage they’re doing to him.”
I really loved how the authors really researched the town and the religion and presented both the good and bad. They never vilified the church and often pointed out the good. I loved that they weren’t afraid to tackle a tough subject and show both sides.
“Sometimes I wonder whether it’s God or the church that feels the strongest about these things.”
“My opinion?” I say carefully. “A God worthy of your eternal love wouldn’t judge you for who you love while you’re here.”
It’s so sad that Sebastian really has to choose between two things he loves, his church and his sexuality. But while this is an extreme example, it happens to young gay kids every day, having to choose between their family, their faith and their sexuality.
“He’s gay; he didn’t die. Nobody is wounded. I know Sebastian’s parents are good people, but holy hell, they just inadvertently made their own son feel like there’s something about him that needs to be fixed. So much for acceptance. So much for welcoming.”
- I have major cover love.
- A completely unique story that I recommend to everyone 15 and up.
- How the authors never demonized the church.
- The research and accuracy (I read comments from people who are from there).
- There was a lot of light and funny scenes, as well as hugely emotional ones.
- The huge differences between how each boy was accepted.
- Autumn, Tanner’s best friend.
- I learned a little about the Latter Day Saints.
- Tanner’s family. His parents were completely accepting and amazing about it, and were still good, strict parents.
- The book within a book.
- That it didn’t just have a perfect, happy ending though it is a HFN.
- The narration changed from first to third person during the book. In the audible version, there is an interview with the authors and narrator at the end and they explain it, and it makes perfect sense. But for me, while reading it, I was wondering if I had gone crazy and it was 3rd person all along, which really took me out of the story.
Narrated by two different men, I loved Tanner’s narrator. Sebastian’s not as much, and it confused me a bit when he came in as 3rd person. The interview at the end make the audiobook even more worth it.
The Down & Dirty:
Rating: 4.5-5 stars, 4.5 narration (No heat rating)